Rayman: Hands and Feet Scramble
by Squirrel Guy
Summary: CHAPTER 4 NOW WITH NEW SCENES! Rayman's body parts are captured in a planet-sized second hand shop of spare body parts, and he must retrieve them, while at the same time, save the race of an alien centaur!
1. Default Chapter

Rayman: Hands and Feet Scramble– Prologue  
  
Characters created by Michel Ancel  
  
Written by Andrew Kaiko  
  
  
  
Here's my third fan fiction of the most entertaining and most unique video and computer game series to hit shelves- Rayman, the armless, legless hero who conquers the day! I am of no relation to the production or post- production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. Rayman is © 2002 Ubi Soft Entertainment. The character of Rayman and all other characters and subjects are all trademarks of Ubi Soft Entertainment. All rights reserved.  
  
Prologue  
  
This moment is the most tragic, violent and hopeless circumstance I can remember! Darkness surrounds the area so thick, that not even the creature with the best eyesight can adjust to whatever is in here.  
  
But we Lapitaurs can.  
  
Our families screaming, our precious architecture collapsing, and roaring, can be heard outside. Inside this space, however, everything is quiet and still. How can this area be the only thing withstanding the unspeakable horror that lies outside, teasing it as if to fake going inside and breaking the silence, but not?  
  
Whatever the reason, my only thought at the moment- perhaps, my last moment- is to stay alive as long as possible! I tell you, Whoever gets a hold of this, that this moment tops anything you have ever experienced! How would you feel if your family, your children, friends, and probably ones that weren't even born yet, were all killed at one single moment that ruined your entire life?!  
  
What is this terror that I spoke of? Perhaps, I do NOT speak of it. And I never would. For you see, Whoever gets a hold of this, we are by nature a very noble and practical race. The reason I do not stop writing and breaking down, is because this is the only thing keeping my mind off of...  
  
...of Boble. Poor, poor Boble...  
  
Wait! What is that n—(marking trail off the page)  
  
(Picks up on the next page) Sorry about that. I just got a notice from the Chief Governor of two things. Number one, that I stop writing nonsense in my, quote unquote, "scrubby diary that no one will ever bother to read" (the Scab!), and two, that our allies have all been killed, and our last good soldier also killed. As far as number one goes, unbeknownst to him, I can write faster than twenty pink monkey monks in a monastery (uh... they were killed too). To give you an idea, upon starting this entry, only 30 seconds has passed! But number two...my hopes, dear reader, are nearly smashed now.  
  
He continues to say that our only hope lies somewhere on another planet outside of our own. But being a peaceful race, our military army was only trained for fundamental exercises! We also have absolutely no contact with other worlds.  
  
Also with the Governor is my wife, who joy of joys, has made it safely into the shelter!  
  
I suppose it is now time to consult the Orb on what to do. Our Orb is not merely your stereotypical crystal ball, but also tells us zodiac readings and gives us advice on how to improve our city. The Governor gallops over to a corner of the room, and a light fills it once again! We quickly uncover the Orb, which has gratefully been lying safe and sound underneath the dirt floor.  
  
The Governor, his voice trembling, speaks. "Orb of the Lapitian World! Our world is ending as we speak! Unknown forces have wiped out our entire race- we three are the only ones left! We need an outside force to help us safe- perhaps, rebuild- our race! But who?! WHO is worthy enough to give us hope in this desperate apocalypse?!"  
  
We hold our breath. We have no time left, but we don't care! We MUST have SOME hope! ANYTHING!  
  
Finally, after what seems like the longest minute ever, the ball hums as if booting up, and an image flickers inside the ball. And you would never even COMPREHEND the sight we all see! Inside, running frantically on green grass, with stubby feet, is a short creature with a big nose... so big, that it makes him look like a living, breathing, three-dimensional, goofy cartoon character. Its head, feet and hands appear to be operating without the use of a neck, arms and legs- they are simply floating freely but controlled to move naturally through the central area: a round, purple sac with a white O in the middle!  
  
As far as the three of us believe, its body parts separate from each other, the creature could not be alive! But there it is! Running, and apparently, giddy with excitement at someone else chasing it. THIS is supposed to save our planet?!  
  
We three just stare at it. Dumbfounded.  
  
What the devil IS that?!  
  
(to be continued) 


	2. Chapter 1

Rayman: Hands and Feet Scramble– Chapter 1  
  
Characters created by Michel Ancel  
  
Written by Andrew Kaiko  
  
  
  
I am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. Rayman is © 2002 Ubi Soft Entertainment. The character of Rayman and all other characters and subjects are all trademarks of Ubi Soft Entertainment. All rights reserved.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"Come on, Rayman!"  
  
"LY! You always run faster than me!" he answered, a goofy smile on his face.  
  
"What's the matter, Slowpoke?! Those little feet can't operate without long legs? Ha ha haa!" She leaped into the air a good distance away from him, clearly teasing Rayman in good fun, emphasizing that she DID indeed have long legs! The bright, glowing foliage brushed against her as she zoomed through the trees.  
  
Rayman felt his smile would never fade. He thought to himself, you know you got a great friend when you exchange insults, put-downs and slams at each other and still like them.  
  
For a retort, he attempted, "Well— I'll show ya' LEG!" He tried to trip Ly in mid-land, but she just dodged him and pushed him forward! Now HE was in the lead! And all the while, they were giggling.  
  
"I CAN RESCUE ENTIRE COMMUNITIES, AND STILL LOOSE TO A PIXIE!"  
  
It could not have been a better early summer day in the forest of Neotopia. Propelling himself through the green grass, Rayman could smell the fresh dew from the bushes he passed. This kind of aroma could only exist on those rare days when it was just the right temperature, the sun was fully out, no clouds, low humidity and the flora and fauna in full bloom. In fact, these days were said to only appear once a year! Since the humidity was low, voices could be carried at greater distances- all the better for Rayman and Ly to exchange more insults at each other!  
  
Ly passed by a big toadstool, which had a wooden door beneath it and a chimney on the top- Murfy's house. The commotion outside disturbed Murfy, who slammed his window open and shouted, "HEY! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF AN IMPORTANT TELEPHONE C—ACK!!!" Ly had grabbed Murfy along with her.  
  
"HEY FAIRY! WATCH THE WINGS!"  
  
"Join us! Come on!"  
  
"AS IF I – ACK!—HAVE A CHOICE!!" His hands finally lost grip on the REALLY LONG dial cord, which zipped back to the receiver after Murfy managed to fit an "I'll call you!" in the few precious seconds.  
  
Ly then shouted back to Rayman, "I'll bet you can finish THIS round, Stubby!"  
  
"Oh, you don't know the HALF of it!" he responded. "PUN. INTENDED."  
  
For being a limbless creature, he could do stuff no other creature could. Without hesitating, he disconnected his feet from the energy force. Taking on a life of their own, his feet galloped faster than ever, closing in on Ly. Ly, just realizing what he was up to, felt more stressed than relaxed as she darted in different directions, trying to loose the feet. Mysteriously, she enjoyed the heightened anxiety even more!  
  
Murfy shouted, "Oy! I promised his ma I'd keep him in one piece!"  
  
With his legs gone, Rayman could use his hair as helicopter wings, increasing his speed. Rayman then disconnected his hands, and they flew off in a different direction. Whenever Ly darted in one direction to loose the feet, the rest of him was always there no matter where she was!  
  
Giddy with uncertainty, Ly giggled to the point where her voice cracked. With no strategy, she instinctively leaped into another foliage of leaves. Murfy yelped like a kid on a roller coaster. The white hands, which could fly at speeds like a cheetah, pursued her into the tops of the trees. They grabbed her by the shoulders, halting her for the first time in two hours! Still giggling, her chest sore, her arms and legs flared in the air. "Okay! Okay! You win! Hahahahha!" The hands eased her down under the trees, and soared her through the beautiful forest to the finish line, where the rest of Rayman was already waiting.  
  
The Teensies were also waiting there to mark the finish line. "AND RAYMAN IS THE WINNER!" The hands put her safely to the ground, and connected themselves back on Rayman's sides. She released a shivering Murfy out of her grip. Ly then shouted at Rayman, meaning to be seriously angered, but to no avail. Her permanent smile caused her to have a giggle fit in the middle.  
  
"That was cheating! You cheated, you Git!"  
  
"I was just trying to prove my point," he said.  
  
Ly got it. They both had disadvantages.  
  
Having raced for two hours straight, they all collapsed on the soil, panting like their lungs were going to burst. For a while they just let the gentle sunlight ease its way above them. Ly was the first to speak after a while. "Oh! Where's Globox?!"  
  
Rayman, almost as if he forgot he was exhausted, sprung back up. Globox was in the race with them at the beginning of the day, but he had disappeared somewhere! "We gotta' find him!"  
  
But as soon as they were about to run the same distance back, they spotted an exhausted Globox nearing the finish line. He had clearly fallen- he was covered in mud, but he didn't seem to mind, his race branching out from amphibians. In fact, he was smiling too. "Wow, I finally caught up with you guys! Hey, Sharpshooter, I saw your hands carrying Ly up in the air just now!"  
  
"Yeah, sneaky little rascals, they be," he kidded. Ly forced a smirk.  
  
"At the next training session, we need to do something with those rascals," said Murfy. "Like, I dunno, tie them to your chest..."  
  
Globox didn't even realize he was covered in mud. "That was the BEST race EVER! Did you see me trip and revisit my lunch?"  
  
"No, thankfully."  
  
Globox panted some more, and then straightened himself. "I'd better get back home. The kids'll be wondering where I am. See you guys!"  
  
Ly brightened. "Oh! I'll go with you! I haven't seen them in a year!"  
  
"Oh, you'd be surprised how much they grew! Melvin had a growth wart—I mean, SPURT! Spurt! A growth spurt! Or was it Molvin? Melroy? Anyway, one of them DEFINITELY had a growth wart!"  
  
Murfy agreed to go along with them. Globox led Ly and Murfy to his home outside the forests. The Teensies then left back to the Council.  
  
Rayman, now alone and never more content at his life at this stage, decided to spend some alone time, wandering through uncharted territory where no Raymanian had gone before, and other uneventful hobbies. But he was unaware that this particular stroll would turn out to be VERY eventful...  
  
The Globox kids were hopping and jumping all around Ly, sitting in a chair inside Globox's home. "Tell us a story, Auntie Ly! Tell us a story!"  
  
Ly over-accentuated her actions, as if to perform as a children's storyteller and said, using her arms in synch with her voice, "Well, what story should I tell you?"  
  
One kid said, "Duh one about Wayman beating the Pirates!"  
  
"Ha ha ha! Oh, but you kids were IN that story! You know how it all happened."  
  
"Dat's –d-d-dat's why we want ta' heaw'it."  
  
Another suggested, "How about the one where Rayman beat the Big Bad Lum?"  
  
"Why does it always have to be about Rayman, kids? There are other stories to tell!"  
  
The kids all pleaded her to tell something about Rayman. After she had quieted them all down, she spoke again. "Okay, okay!" She then said to herself, I have no win over anything these days. "We will compromise. This story has to do with Rayman, but isn't really about him—"  
  
"Is –I-I-I-is he in it?"  
  
"Oh, okay! I'll put him in the end! Now quiet! These are the tales, kids! Now, no one knows if this story is real, or a fake, but it has been passed down from generation to generation, and is a classic! This is the story... of how Rayman's race... became ... limbless..."  
  
A long time ago, when there were no such things as feet without legs, hands without arms, or even heads without necks, there was a creature that resembled a lot like Rayman's race. It had the big nose, the orange flesh, and a little round tummy, but it had arms, legs and a neck. His name was Addie.  
  
One day, Addie was walking through the woods much like the one next to us, when he came to this huge tree. It looked like any other tree, but this one was silver and appeared to glow all around. It was so tall you couldn't even see the top of it, and at the bottom of the truck, a voice echoed to Addie from within.  
  
"Addie, you may not remember me, but I do remember you. My name is Ordra, and believe it or not, I am the one who created you!"  
  
"I don't believe it," said Addie.  
  
"But it is true," said Ordra. "My voice exists because I can channel the same energy that branches from the Central Dreaming, and because of that, I am a goddess that is part of the original Creation. This tree is simply a place where I like to get away and visit the earthly ground once every year."  
  
Addie still did not believe it. "Well," she said. "If you are able to climb upon my branches to the top of the tree, what you will see will indeed make you believe it."  
  
Addie thought, in an echoed voice inside his head so you kids could understand what he was thinking, but couldn't possibly be able to do in real life, granted that this is a juvenile kiddy story, "I will climb up, but I am certain there won't be anything up there."  
  
So he did, and when he was on the very top of the tree, there was a glowing white ball of energy! And out of that energy ball jumped out a creature that looked exactly like Addie!  
  
The tree said, "This is a creature the same as you in every sense! He is even called Addie as well!"  
  
Addie stared awestruck at the creature and, as if a reflection in a mirror, Addie II said and did the exact things Addie said, "I do believe now, Ordra."  
  
Ordra was pleased and added, "You may watch over this tree if you wish. Every year on this day I visit this tree to experience what I am governing over first hand, but there is only one thing you must remember. You must never let anybody or anything rid it of it's branches. Take a look at them. Though strong and healthy they are now, if they were to be cut off while I am inside the tree, it will affect me in the worst possible way."  
  
Addie did watch over the tree each year that date. And after 10 years, when he again visited the tree, to his horror, the branches DID get cut off! He tried to get to the white ball at the top, but having nothing to climb from, couldn't reach it! He shouted, "Ordra! I am so sorry! I do not know what happened! Please tell me you are okay!"  
  
He heard a voice that said, "I am not well. While I was in this tree, some other monsters came and cut them off! Now, I regret to show you what they did to my powers, but here it is."  
  
A flash of white light exploded from above, and, hurtling to the ground, landed Addie II, his head, chest, hands, and legs all cut off and sprawled all over the ground!  
  
Addie raced to his friend and cried over him, cradling his head. "I will find a way to save you from dying, my friend!" He noticed that there were five other branches that the monsters had missed, lying on the ground also. Quickly, he reattached them to the tree as best he could. Although they would never pass as being seamlessly attached, he was delighted to see that Addie II was standing up! But he was standing without any limbs!  
  
Addie was surprised. "Are you hurt?!" he asked him.  
  
Addie II replied, "I feel fine! Why do you ask?"  
  
What an amazing thing, this new phenomenon brought Addie! In the rest of his life, Addie II became a new race himself, and from that day forward, all of his descendants were limbless as well. And alas, when Addie died, there were no more of his kind with limbs.  
  
But only one of this race, thus far, could channel the powers that come with these lack of limbs, and that is Rayman. For he, for some reason, was chosen by the forces of creation to channel the powers. And that is how Rayman's race became limbless.  
  
"Globox! Globox! I got great news!" Never had Globox seen Murfy so excited and flying all over the place!  
  
Globox was visiting Murfy's little house, and, he must admit, wasn't entirely comfortable with the head and legroom. "What is it, Murfy?"  
  
"When I was in the race with Rayman and Ly, I was in the middle of a phone call! And do you know what that call was about?!"  
  
Globox stared into space, trying hard to oil the cranks in his brain.  
  
"Of course you don't, but THAT DOESN'T MATTER- I AM SOOOOO HAPPY!" He twirled Globox around his biggest room, as if dancing with him, and as we was saying the following, released the blue guy, slamming him outside. "The phone call was from The Teensie Council telling me that I've been nominated for the Annual Best Gaming Sidekick/Guide For Adventurous Heroes Awards at the annual Video Game Character Awards, and that I must go to the award show in case I win! OH JOY OF JOYS! I'VE WANTED TO BE NOMINATED FOR SO LONG, BUT NEVER STOOD A CHANCE 'CAUSE OF SOME OTHER BETTER NOMINEE BEATING ME! I'm finally going to get the reputation I deserve! Did you know that I NEVER won any award in my life?!"  
  
Globox was sprawled against a tree across from Murfy's door. He waddled over to the greenbottle. "Murfy, isn't that the show where all the best sidekicks in today's hottest video games gather in one room for one night only?"  
  
"Pretty much! OH I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY! Oh, Globox, I love you!" he choked Globox in the throat and then quickly eased back.  
  
Globox was silent for a minute and then said, "I'm happy for you, but... I'm Rayman's sidekick too."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway... I GOTTA' TELL RAYMAN AND LY THE NEWS! Oh, if only I could teleport like that fairy does!"  
  
He was flying back and forth, too quick for Globox to get a word out. "Uh... Murfy—M-Murf—Uh... um... I- I- Did the Teensies say anything about me?"  
  
"Maybe I can give that speech I wrote three years ago, provided Daxter doesn't upstage us again—"  
  
"Murfy!" Globox finally caught him in his grasp. "Did they say anything about me?"  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"I appeared in the last two games too!"  
  
"Oh, YOU were there?"  
  
"Murfy, I wanted to be nominated too."  
  
"Why in the world would they nominate you? All you did was get drunk and hop and run on walls all over the place."  
  
Murfy could see that Globox was hiding his sadness under a thrust out chest. "Hey look, Bud. It's just an award show. The award is nothing but a statue of an attractive action heroine made of 24k gold... can't do anything with it... nothin' exciting..."  
  
"Do you have a slip or anything where we can see if I got nominated? You know, two or more characters can be considered one nominee for one award, when in reason."  
  
Murfy scratched his head, "Well... I do have one slip..."  
  
He went inside and came out with fine print that told of this year's award nominees. "The Teensies came over and gave me this. Didn't really read through everything..."  
  
Globox eyes widened when he read the part of the Sidekick Award. And to Murfy's worst expectations, the blue mouth turned upward at the sides. "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!"  
  
After sleeping over night in the safe shelter of a pile of moss, Rayman brushed it off of his body and straightened his hood that he used as a pillow. Yawning, he crept out of the moss and started to walk back to his home.  
  
But as he was walking a little ways into a denser part of the forest, the morning sunlight shown upon something that convinced Rayman that he would not be home in a while.  
  
Sitting in the middle of a small clearing, his head in his hands as if crying, was a creature that couldn't be more than 12 years old.  
  
And his body was that of a Lapitaur...  
  
(to be continued) 


	3. Chapter 2

Rayman: Hands and Feet Scramble– Chapter 2  
  
Characters created by Michel Ancel  
  
Written by Andrew Kaiko  
  
  
  
I am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. Rayman is © 2002 Ubi Soft Entertainment. The character of Rayman and all other characters and subjects are all trademarks of Ubi Soft Entertainment. All rights reserved.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
He felt as though all commotion in the background had ceased to exist. Rayman, accustomed to seeing foreign invaders, could just as easily have snapped into a defense position and shouted him to back off. But this time, he couldn't even lift his foot. Staring for an indeterminate amount of time, and with a perplexed and wandering gaze, he finally took up the curiosity to wander slowly closer to the alien.  
  
The creature must've scared away the animals, he thought. The forest seems more still than before.  
  
But the morning sun shown through the trees on this clear day, and made clear the queer shape of this form sitting in the middle of a clearing, surrounded by trees. Rayman's first inclination was that this was a gray centaur, but as he got closer, he made a slight face at it. Yes, indeed, it had all the qualities of a centaur- a human-like upper body attached at the waist to a horse's body with four legs and a tail. However, the surface was not fur, but somewhere between skin and scales, and had more of a sky bluish gray color. The upper parts of his arms and legs got wider as they neared the ends, making his fingers and toes appear monstrously thick! A thin neck supported a spherical head, the bottom half forming two eyes and a mouth, currently hidden in his two hands.  
  
But... what set this creature apart from any other centaur, were two things. Two rabbit-like ears extended upward from his head, each ending in what looked like a fist! Never had he seen two long "ears" end in hands before! The other thing was that the tail also ended in one hand as well, a hand twice as large as the ones covering his eyes! A long, thin, floppy tail with a bulbous hand, WITH A THUMB ON EACH SIDE, that also appeared to be fisted just like his ear-hands were.  
  
What astonished Rayman the most was the fact that all these formations made this creature mysteriously cute- his skin shiny from the sunlight. At the moment he was collapsed onto the ground, his face covered in his palms and crying, which only made him more approachable. Rayman noticed a broken stick laying a ways from the creature, and he assumed that it must've been his weapon. Perhaps he was crying because he was lost on a strange planet with no weapon and no food.  
  
The pity overcame him at last, and Rayman was now walking at his normal pace toward the creature with no hesitation at all, and only a willingness to help. He could hear that the "centaur" was indeed sobbing, and didn't even notice Rayman standing to his right, his white hands folded on his back.  
  
"Hey. What's the matter?"  
  
As if put out of a trance, the creature's head whip lashed itself alarmed, gasped, and he galloped toward the dense forest!  
  
"NO! WAIT! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HARM YOU! I COME HERE IN PEACE! PLEASE, STOP!"  
  
The "centaur" fortunately stopped in his tracks before he could disappear into the growth, but huddled himself against a tree trunk, giving the limbless stranger a watchful eye. He was breathing heavily, but managed to get some words out. "Wh- what are you?! What do you want?!" His voice sounded like a twelve-year-old's, but its manner made him sound like an adult.  
  
Rayman tried to calm him down, his two hands slowly dropping in front. "I saw you here, and wanted to know what you were crying about. Are you lost? Is that your weapon?"  
  
This didn't console him one bit. "I am not telling you anything until you tell ME YOUR business!"  
  
Rayman thought, he's an uptight little rascal! "I am Rayman of Neotopia, the planet that you are now on. It is my nature to help those in need, even when they are complete alien strangers! I do know how to fight, but only to the intentionally bad kind! But you do not look bad, so I want to help you! I've helped countless aliens before, and you can rest assured I can help you."  
  
The "centaur's" pose didn't relax, but he replied, "I am Boble. I am a Lapitaur, but I fear my planet is now obliterated from existence! I highly doubt you can do anything about it- such a short, goofy-looking thing like you!" He was on the verge of crying again.  
  
Rayman was now more surprised than before. His entire planet gone? "Goofy- looking"? Had he not heard of his heroic deeds? "Wow," he said. "I am both sympathetic... and offended... by your remark..."  
  
"AAAAGH! DON'T YOU DARE PUNCH ME!"  
  
"Wha'?! WHA'?! All I did was say I was offended—"  
  
"(GASP!) Your hand! It... it...MOVED!"  
  
"Woah. A'kay. You. Need to calm down. We'll take this one step at a time. Move... away... from the tree....THAAAAAT'S good. Now. Take a deep breath..."  
  
The Lapitaur named Boble raised his right hand. "Forgive me... Rayman. I- I've never been so sad in my life, that's all..."  
  
"'That's ALL'?! Boble, I know, being a WITNESS, how it feels to have your entire planet completely gone! It is NOT something you would call,... 'that's all'!" Rayman took his hands. "I feel your pain... having your entire life taken away from you. You probably don't know if your family is even alive, do you?"  
  
Boble's cavalier behavior deflated like Globox right after a bean meal. His head fell limp, and his shaky voice said, "I might as well die right here. No one can mend the sights I've seen on my planet. No one will listen to me."  
  
"If you listen to me, I can get you through this. Come on! We can find evidence of your planet and try to find a way to save, and maybe even rebuild, your race! Why, with these five arms and four legs, it should be a sintch!"  
  
The moment shifted from deep remorse to physical panic! Whatever Rayman said, it sent Boble on a whirlwind of screaming and flaring all nine of his arms and legs in the air, and he cut away from his grasp and fled into the woods!  
  
-----  
  
"Okay, Globox! Rayman was last seen right here where the finish line used to be. And you have NO IDEA where he must've gone?"  
  
"With Rayman, you can never tell."  
  
"Hum. Well, we mustn't loose hope! I GOTTA' tell him about my wonderful nomination for the Best Comic Sidekick/Guide for Adventurous Heroes Award at the Annual Video Game Character Awards Show!"  
  
"Hey! I'm nominated too, remember?!"  
  
"Oh, right. That. But all joking aside, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME! It says here on the sheet that the Annual Video Game Character Awards Show is at the END of this week! That's in four days! I can't get ready to go without him! Now, come on! I have to spread MY wonderful NEWS!"  
  
"Sigh..."  
  
-----  
  
Splosh! Splosh! Splosh! Splosh again! His sneakers were getting dirty from the mud. Boble ran off as if a ghost chicken was chasing it, not Rayman! Rayman was so used to avoiding obstacle after obstacle that he spent his concentration trying to crack this guy's logic. Why doesn't he trust me?! What did I say to send him flipping out and running off like this?! It should only be a matter of time until I catch up to him and stop him in his tracks- then, he won't be able to do anything but tell me the truth! If he wants me to use force, I'll show him force!  
  
Sure enough, after five more minutes, he was able to pin him against a huge turquoise rock, and with a bang, Boble could only wiggle in the hard, gripping position Rayman had caged him in. "Okay, Boble Boy! You chose to play it rough- I can play rough too! Tell me just HOW you got here! NOW!"  
  
"No! There is no way a little runt like you can make me feel better about this!"  
  
Rayman's mood changed in a snap. "Oh, yeah? Well, watch this!" He put his index fingers in the sides of his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and went, "BLAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAAAAA!"  
  
Boble just stood there, stone-faced and and passively put-off.  
  
"What, don't think that's funny? I didn't make you feel better?"  
  
Still stone-faced.  
  
"You're right, that's too juvenile. You're a BIG boy. I need to try harder. Um..." He disconnected himself, and reconnected them in a distorted mixture, like Mr. Potato Head. "Hah?"  
  
Stone-face.  
  
"Haha, uh... no..." He reconnected himself back properly, and then wound up for a punch targeted at a random spot to his left. BLAM! It ricocheted several times off several trees, and landed inside his mouth, and out his ear!  
  
Stone-face.  
  
"Great, now I just wasted valuable energy, AND my right hand is covered in Rayman Saliva! You just have SOOOO much self-control, don't you?! To make the best out of a situation like this, the last thing you gotta' do is FLIP OUT!!!!" The last word echoed through the woods. "Forget I did that. Do you even have a sense of humor?!"  
  
Boble didn't flinch, even when two equally amusing sidekicks finally spotted Rayman behind his back and ran toward him. "Rayman! Rayman! There you are! I heard you scream 'Flip out!', so we did and found you! I got GREAT ne—oh, company."  
  
Murfy and Globox stared at Boble as if staring at black bananas. Boble's eyebrows narrowed even more.  
  
Rayman faced Murfy and said, "Guys. This Lapitaur just witnessed his world be destroyed by an unknown force, and is here to get help. But everyone knows that before you attempt to face adversity, you MUST ease yourself. So let's make him feel better with some classic Humor 101!"  
  
Murfy rose to his feet and said, "I'll do it!"  
  
Globox cut in. "No, no! I'll do it! I'm the better sidekick!"  
  
"NO! I'M the better sidekick!"  
  
"NO, I AM!"  
  
"I AAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM-Muh!"  
  
Rayman was now just as confused as Boble. "Hey, hey. Since when did the concept of 'better sidekick' become an issue?"  
  
But they weren't listening. They were too busy fighting each other until they took it outside the hearing range of the other two. Rayman just jerked his head to himself, wondering what just happened.  
  
Stone-face, with mouth talking. "Are you some sort of bulb-nosed freak, with two slapstick sidekicks, put on this ground for clownish amusement?"  
  
"I asked you first! Besides, as if you haven't heard, I actually DID save this planet as WELL as saving my friends, innocent citizens and helpless children from selfish lowlives who only thought about themselves! I am intergalactically famous! You've never heard of me?!"  
  
Stone-face, with mouth talking. "As far as I can see, your only reason to exist is to amuse others. The proof lies in your very body structure! Big nose, goofy eyes, big hands, big, round sneakers, you run up and down constantly like some demented cartoon character—not only can you not help me, but you can't even make me FEEL better! Good day to you, Sir." And keep in mind this was coming from a twelve-year-old!  
  
Rayman just stood there. This creature, which was obviously upset and worried about his parents and his people, would rather die than save them, which he obviously showed the willingness and ability to do?! What a stiff! "FINE! Go die and throw away a perfectly good opportunity to save your planet and your parents, who must've risked their lives to save you!"  
  
"How did YOU know that?!" Boble answered from a distance.  
  
"It's very likely! That ALWAYS happens at dramatic separations! But if this is the path you've chosen, then GOOD DAY!" He equally thrust himself to face the opposite direction, and stomped the way he came from, following the footsteps in the mud.  
  
-----  
  
We have Rayman who just turned his back on Boble, and Globox and Murfy duking it out somewhere else. In another part of the forest, where the sun doesn't shine so hot, yet a third story took place.  
  
A thumping noise scared a group of tropical lizards trying to keep wet. The thumping sounded like footsteps, and that's probably because they WERE footsteps, thank you very much! Two pairs of heavy footstepage smashed one bush after another. Out of the dense clump of trees landed an orange, thick shoe connected to an orange, thick leg! Soon the strangers revealed themselves.  
  
They were built like body-builders, but dressed semi-elegantly- definitely not expecting any tropical forest temperature! The expensive shoes were all covered in mud, and one of the identical strangers, looking under his shoe, was disgusted.  
  
"Oh no ! Monsieur Vente, I vill NEVER get zis soot off of me !"  
  
"Au contraire, Monsieur Achat ! Soon, vee vill be out of the filthy forests of zis unknown planETTE, and collecting more precious and rare specimens ! Now, FORWARD—OOF !"  
  
Vente tripped and soon his faded orange body was in the mud. Achat was laughing!  
  
"What are you laughing at ?! Moi ? You fell just a moment ago !"  
  
"Oui, but unlike you, I like to get as MANY different types of coats, so if I get one dirty, I just replace it with a new one !" Achat had a smug expression on his pointy face.  
  
"Oh ya ?" said Vente. "Why do you always get SOOO many things, Achat ?!"  
  
"Why do you always get so little, Vente?"  
  
"Because, I like to SAVE! To conserve! To recycle! Saving is vot makes a proper merchant 'prospieur' !"  
  
"Vell, you're wrong ! I never got away with anything if I never had EVERY single part of a collection, OR anything else ! Material substance is vot makes an assistant prosper, VENTE ! "  
  
"NO, it is saving !"  
  
"BUYING !"  
  
"SAVING !"  
  
"BUYING ! In fact, that coat you are wearing would look great on me ! I shall make a price for 50 pounds for it !"  
  
"50 pounds ?! It's the exact same as yours ! Plus, it's covered in DIRT ! "  
  
"I charge extra for zee dry-cleaning—vot vas that?"  
  
There was a shuffle a little ways from their area. They both stopped their argument and darted their heads to and fro, trying to look for anything that moved. It was Achat who first broke the silence to say, "Vait ! It's coming from over there !" He pointed to a direction, and together, they spotted Rayman, still upset from his encounter, storming back to where he came from.  
  
Their jaws dropped! Finally, another creature who's hands, feet and head were not connected by any limbs!  
  
"SHHH ! Do not make a sound. Vee vouldn't vant the puny thing to be scared and run a—"  
  
CRASH!! Rayman's fist shot a hole through the thickets right over their heads! "WHO GOES THERE?! I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU! I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO CAPTURE ME, AND IF YOU GET CLOSER, YOU'RE IN FOR A WALLOP!"  
  
"... and... run... away... helplessly."  
  
They exchanged blank glances, screamed, and "ran away helplessly"!  
  
"Oh, Dear Achat ! En all my years of planETTE scouting, ah' have NEVIERE my life vitnessed a limbless being with so much powieur !"  
  
"But vee MUST get it somehow, Vente ! Those hands ! Those feet ! That head ! They could be veeeery valuable indeed !"  
  
"Vait ! M-M-Maybe vee don't have to get that one ! Other limbless beings must live here also !"  
  
Achat, his expression usually comical and amusing, even when taking up his charismatic ways, turned serious. His wiry grin disappeared, and to anyone's surprise who looked at him at that moment, he could send chills up their spines. "NO, Vente ! Vee must get THAT one ! For he is, how you say, veeeery special, and if vee are able to collect his parts, disconnect them, and PARALYZE them, then vee vill gain loads and loads of MONEY !" They were still running as fast as they could, but Achat was keeping his voice slow and cool. "Vee are no match for hiz powieurs, but once he is in a vulnerable state, vee vill take the chance ."  
  
Vente was shaking, but seemed to be oblivious to Achat's sudden mood change. "Ooo ! Ooo ! And then, vee vill send him to... MADAM !"  
  
"NO, YEUW PITIFIEL MINK ! We take him to Madam first, THEN paralyze him! SHE OWNS ALL THE CAPTIES ! RIGHT ?"  
  
"Oh, yes. Exactly. Hee hehe he HEE HEE HEHE HE – MWAHAHAHAHAW !"  
  
"Shut up, or I'll push yew intew a tree FOR yeuw!"  
  
(to be continued...) 


	4. Chapter 3

Rayman: Hands and Feet Scramble– Chapter 3  
  
Characters created by Michel Ancel  
  
Written by Andrew Kaiko  
  
  
  
I am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. Rayman is © 2002 Ubi Soft Entertainment. The character of Rayman and all other characters and subjects are all trademarks of Ubi Soft Entertainment. All rights reserved.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Fuming inside, Rayman kept on storming and storming through the growth, too upset to even notice that the sun was starting to set. For the first time, someone rejected his help in getting out of a predicament in which he was obviously aware of needing assistance in!  
  
After a time, he still didn't even know where he was, and just when he was assuming he was going around in circles, he noticed a reassuring sight! Globox and Murfy were in front of him, still fighting like there was no tomorrow, but he found them nonetheless! He ran up to them and asked, "Guys! Guys! What was all that about earlier?!"  
  
Murfy stopped strangling Globox. "This pinhead thought he was the better sidekick than me!"  
  
"And I AM too!"  
  
"NO! I AM!"  
  
Rayman raised his hands in the air. "CEASE AND DESIST! It doesn't matter who the better sidekick is! I mean, I've never seen you guys even think of yourselves as sidekicks! What brought this up?!"  
  
Bruised and beaten, they caught their breath and Murfy straightened his wings. "Well, I was GONNA' tell you when it was GOOD news, but here it goes. I found out I'm nominated for Best Comic Sidekick/Guide For Adventurous Heroes Award at the Annual Video Game Character Awards show. But then he—"  
  
Globox cut in. "...I pointed out to him that I was nominated for the same category as well!"  
  
Rayman flew his hands up in the air again and yelped, "So just share the award and stop bickering!"  
  
Murfy retorted, "You guys don't understand! This award is my life-long DREAM! I've worked my heart and soul to be the ideal guide to you, Rayman, and I've been nominated countless times before, but I always lost it to someone else! This year, none of the other three nominees have a chance! I can't give this up!"  
  
Globox said, "I was there with Rayman the entire time! I even got more screen time than you!"  
  
"But did you ever take your entire lifetime to achieve that kind of status?! I don't think so!"  
  
THAT was true. Globox became Rayman's friend just before they both got captured by Razorbeard's pirates- he was all grown up. He never even heard of Rayman when he was a tadpole.  
  
Rayman approached them dutifully. "Okay. I understand how it feels to build up to something your whole life and never getting it, Murfy. But Globox or no Globox, that award is STILL going to be yours if you win! You just need to learn to share."  
  
Murfy's eyes kept squinting, until Rayman finished his speech. "Well, just so that enlightening speech doesn't make this story some after-school special, I think we should let this issue off for now, what do you say, Globox?"  
  
"Sure! Fine with me. Really!"  
  
Rayman brightened. "Great! All settled! Now, do you know who to get home from here?"  
  
-----  
  
They wandered until the sun was no longer in the sky. The purple hue of the moon lit their way, at least in the open clearings. But none of them could see any better in the dark than during the day, and they all felt like they were worse off than before.  
  
Globox held his stomach. "Uglette must be worried about me now, I just know it! I'm missin' Tuesday Double-Entrée!"  
  
"Keep complainin', Hardy, and I'll give you a double-entrée of somethin' else!"  
  
"Shhh! Wait! I see yellow lights that way! They look like fire!"  
  
They all fell silent and then noticed there were drums beating in the same direction as the lights. Figures were dancing around the fire Rayman spoke of, which was unusually huge! The drums were getting louder as they approached the only source of light in the area. They identified the music as native tribal music!  
  
Rayman's eyes reflected the light like water. "My God! Could it be we've gone this far?!"  
  
"Which far?"  
  
"This must be the native tribal clan of Kubla Kimbakawee! They live all the way at the other end of this huge forest of Neotopia! I can't believe we've traveled this far! We've been going in the wrong direction the whole time!"  
  
"Aww, great! That's the last time I let Globox lead."  
  
"Um... Murfy, we were following you."  
  
Murfy paused and said, "Yeah, but... I was... testing to see if YOU could see as clearly as me! Yeah!"  
  
"Wait! Oh, Great Trousers of Polokos! That's BOBLE!"  
  
Indeed, Boble was tied to a set of vertical poles right above the huge bonfire the natives were dancing around! And it didn't take a rocket scientist to decipher what they were going to do, once they noticed that big pot of boiling water in the center of the fire! Boble himself was awake and well, but so terrified that sweat was pouring from ALL his arms!  
  
The drums were still thumping.  
  
Rayman zipped around to Globox and Murfy and said, "Guys! Now... is the time to show me that you two are EQUALLY good sidekicks!"  
  
Globox and Murfy grinned devilishly, cracking their knuckled and getting into a running start.  
  
Rayman continued, "...run away, get Ly, and ask her for help!"  
  
The drums were still thumping.  
  
They both sunk into depressed positions, as if to say, Oh, THAT'S what he wants us to do!  
  
"NOW, GUYS! BOBLE'S LIFE IS AT STAKE! ...AND BURNING ON IT!"  
  
Murfy, who didn't take a break from being obnoxious since this story started, said, "Fine, His Limblessness!"  
  
They both ran in the opposite direction, having a lame argument of who was going to find Ly first, when they should've been trying to find their way!  
  
The drums were still thumping.  
  
Rayman then turned back to the fire. Just facing it, pondering the best tactic to take. The drums thumping repeatedly for what seemed like an eternity. What prompted him to finally take action, though, was what he saw on the top of the pole. Boble, after that heated argument he had when he was first met him, was staring at him right now. His expression was still disconcerting, but Rayman knew he was indirectly asking for help.  
  
The drums were still thumping. The natives were still dancing and chanting around the fire. But they stopped once they noticed Rayman was punching them one by one! They took action, but Rayman was too quick! They were falling down like flies! This is a piece of cake, he thought!  
  
Boble's expression didn't change.  
  
The drums were still thumping  
  
Until the drummer himself was the last one to be conked out.  
  
His next challenge was to put out the fire. There must be water somewhere in this place! He scurried around, looking under the native bodies, lifting the furnishings inside the bamboo huts... but no water. He stared at the pole Boble was tied to, and realized another way out! He disconnected his hands once again, and they both tried to bend the pole slightly outside the way of the fire, just enough that he could reach Boble at a 45 degree angle!  
  
Slowly, carefully, the hands untied the complicated knots, and Boble was able to jump the rest of the way onto the ground in front of Rayman, whose hands floated back to their positions.  
  
Boble was actually really astonished! He was about to go into a deep emotional 'change-of-heart' moment, until Rayman said, "Save it. These guys can wake up any second! Let's get out of here!"  
  
As they raced away from the light and into the dark maze of tree trunks, Boble cleared his voice, and said, over the loud cracks and crunches underneath them, "Hey, Rayman! How did you do that?!"  
  
Rayman responded, just as loudly, "Oh, knock out those natives that quickly?! Experience, kid! Experience and patience!"  
  
They both kept dashing deeper into the woods.  
  
"Rayman! I'm sorry I called you a bulb-nosed freak!"  
  
Rayman managed a sigh from between his gasps as he was running. "Apology accepted! Come on! What do you say we find some information somewhere about whether or not your planet exists?! We should do everything we can to save your race!"  
  
Boble was running silently for a while, when he said, "We might as well!"  
  
They ran for a while more, when Rayman told him they were so far away from the tribe that there was no chance they would find them. By now, they were exhausted, so they both found separate places to sleep for the night.  
  
-----  
  
The next morning started out bright and clear. Rayman was certain there wasn't a current of wind in sight, which was all the better for creatures to go out and play. And in the past few days, he also surmised that they must've been in the middle of a series of dry days- no storm had hit their region in a month! Enjoy this while you can, he thought. Go find Ly and have another race—  
  
But he stopped, and the events from yesterday all came back to him. Boble, argument. "sidekick" dilemma, natives, rescue, lost, lost, lost. Oh right.  
  
He sunk to a relaxed pose, and turned his head. Interesting, how a person with such a temper could look so delicate and cute when they are asleep. Such was the case with Boble, who was hunched in a little ball, his four legs crossed over one another to form a circular pattern within the ball, his mouth and thumb paused in the process of sucking it. The feeling of vulnerability rose in Rayman again, the same feeling he had formed for him when he first saw him crying in the clearing. He didn't care if the Lapitaur hated him. He was only a boy, and he needed all the help he could get. He did have an IOTA of a plan of how to save his race, but he was going to do the best he could.  
  
Curious also, how whenever meeting other victims in distress in the past, Rayman never felt this kind of vulnerability before. Maybe it was because he could relate with having a special trait of extra, or lack of, limbs, and the advantages and disadvantages that came with it. Maybe.  
  
But, anyway, they had a serious job to do, and time was essential, so he softly nudged the blue, round head, and it stirred. Boble muttered something about ponies, but went back to sleep.  
  
Rayman then paused. Timed his next move perfectly...  
  
...and sent one of his "Energizer Bonkies" into Boble's head!  
  
"OW! What did you do THAT for?! You little—"  
  
He raced after a giggling Rayman, who darted to and fro, from tree to tree! Boble, who was at first enraged, noticed after a ways into the chase that he was doing it for fun, but he was still pretty irritated. With clenched teeth, he wanted to trap the little booger into a tight corner and do the same to him!  
  
Ha ha, thought Rayman (actually, he said 'ha ha' out loud, but he was also thinking it at the same time- you would too, right?), I can tell he's enjoying it as well as being annoyed!  
  
He sent another punch, intentionally missing by a hair, and Boble responded by speeding up to him and punching him lightly in the chest- bulls-eye, into the center of the white 'O'! The air blown out of him, Rayman toppled backward down into a ravine, and Boble feel down after him.  
  
They lay there for a few moments, catching their breath, just like he did with Ly earlier. Boble was the first to break the silence, "You—you're crazy!"  
  
"I didn't hit you too hard, did I?" Rayman asked with a smile.  
  
"Did I hit YOU hard?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then I guess you didn't either."  
  
"Good enough for me."  
  
Another silent moment of catching more breath.  
  
"Well, you do have a strange way of relating to people," said Boble. "Must go along with that goofy nose of yours!"  
  
Rayman just lay there chuckling to himself.  
  
"The other Lapitaurs in my planet would never let me play with them like this... You're all grown up, right?" Boble asked him.  
  
"I...I believe so."  
  
"Then, why do you relate to people this way?! Why don't you just invite them for a cup of tea and socialize, like they do on my—or... used to do, anyway..."  
  
Rayman knew Boble was about to sink into depressive karma again, so he quickly jumped up and said, "Hey. Why don't we just continue trying to find evidence of your planet?"  
  
Rayman grinned.  
  
Boble was then reminded of a question Rayman had earlier. When they were all rested and were continuing on their way, he grunted several times, but then relaxed and said grimly, "I sent myself here in a pod because I thought I could help my father find a solution to our problem by being the first Lapitaur to gain contact with other planets—"  
  
Alerted to FINALLY hear what he wanted to hear, Rayman said, "Woah woah woah woah! You mean to say, Lapitaurs until now have NEVER known other planets existed? That other life forms existed?"  
  
"No, we KNEW! None of us ever even thought of contacting anyone. We Lapitaurs are a peaceful race, never arguing with anyone, and always sharing. But we are also extremely conservative, logical and silent. So, because we have no enemies, we aren't prepared for any attack! My father says that we will never even BE attacked in the future, and I believe him! THIS CANNOT HAPPEN!"  
  
They were crossing a pretty thick river by stepping-stones. "This should never have happened! Our entire belief system is a lie! What did WE do to anyone else?!"  
  
"You... don't know who or what destroyed your planet?!"  
  
"No! We were all too busy screaming and running around, praying over mine fields, reading the scriptures one last time, consulting the blessed pink monkey monks... to even notice! Well... m-my father... never even trusted me enough to let me do the things I wanted to do, so I thought this would be the opportune time to prove that I was fit to be a real squire! I ever so secretly stowed away on one of those highly restricted, governmental-use- only Authority Pods—"  
  
"Ooo, bad, bad, Boble..."  
  
"...and somewhere in the middle of the trip, I lost control of the pod, and crashed landed here! Now I am hopelessly lost with no food, no way of saving my planet, and no one here will even understand how difficult it is to restore my race!"  
  
By now, Rayman had subconsciously gone from defending himself to resting on a rock in front of Boble, who had alternatively gone from struggling to get away to standing straight as a professional storyteller. But since Rayman met him, the wet vertical lines covering his cheeks had not dried. Rayman stared at them, and he softened down.  
  
"You're right," said Rayman calmly. "I don't understand how difficult it is for you. Now, I will mention this again, and promise me you won't run off, okay?"  
  
Boble nodded.  
  
"Okay. How can you have so much trouble if you have five arms and four legs?"  
  
Boble knew this was coming. He stood there and was now acting like his age for once. He took a deep breath, restrained his reflexes from carrying him away, and said quietly, looking down at his feet, "I-I don't know how to use all of them."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look at them! Look at the two on my head, and the one at the end of my tail. Can you guess how are they different from my regular ones?"  
  
Rayman realized he didn't take a good look at them before, and this was his first real examination. Upon zooming in on the two on his head and the one on his tail, there were indeed some differences from his front hands and feet. They appeared to be smaller, and the surface texture that appeared on the rest of his body was missing from these two. They were thinner and had more translucencies to them. The fingers at the ends were cuffed, and Rayman realized he NEVER saw these two open before! The ear-hands flopped numbly to and fro in a secondary action to his head, as if Boble's body had not developed the motor skills to control them yet. The tail flopped in the exact same manner as his ears. In one sentence, Rayman summarized, in one gasping answer...  
  
"...the hands at the ends of your ears, and the hand at the end of your tail... are underdeveloped!"  
  
"You're so close. They are fully developed- I've just never been able to operate them! Imagine if you were born with a part of your body that was not connected to your brain. It would feel as if they weren't there at all! That is pretty much the case with these guys."  
  
Huh, Rayman thought. MY hands and feet aren't connected to my brain, but they feel right as rain to me!  
  
Boble went on. "Since I was a calf, I watched as my other friends all learned how to move their own ear-hands and tail-hand- I somehow never been able to move them."  
  
"Is it some neural disease? Or at they indeed underdeveloped?"  
  
"Our planet's doctors couldn't figure it out. They only said that all my ear-hands and tail-hand needed were more and more exercise! But I went through all the steps since childhood, trying to shape them and build the muscles, but they stayed the way they were when I was a baby!"  
  
Boble never lifted his head from staring at his feet since they started on their journey that morning. He continued, "My parents knew this would close me off from the regular Lapitaurian activities..."  
  
Rayman had this amusing brain-fart of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, but he wisely kept it to himself.  
  
"...but they made the best of it. It was pretty depressing for me, because these two hands on our head and the big one on our tails characterize our entire Lapitaurian race! While my parents saw it as a basic handicap, I personally saw it as a disgrace to my own race. That is one of the reasons why I became so... humorless." He exhaled on the last word, as if to show his reluctance to bringing back the subject of humor.  
  
Rayman straightened his posture and tried to gain back his dominance. "Well, I think part of the problem is that you're too hard on yourself."  
  
They both fell silent for a long time- they never determined how long. It wasn't an awkward silence, but a meditative one. Boble still felt he should distance himself from this strange-looking alien, but since yesterday, traveling with him, he surprised him. He never knew a shrimp like him could save them from an entire native tribe! Plus, being too hard on him was something that his parents kept telling him time and time again, almost verbatim. Rayman was silent because he was trying to think of alternative ways Boble could get those extra ligaments working!  
  
But a rustling in a field of grass near them interrupted their silence. Then a dull thumping noise repeated itself as it got louder and louder!  
  
Rayman immediately jumped up in an alert pose and demanded, "Boble! Run as far away from the gr—OWW!"  
  
Before he could react, Achat and Vente conked him upside the head with a bronze club. And within a second, Rayman was down on the ground.  
  
Achat laughed gleefully. "Vee did eet! Vee have zee Rayman een our grasp! Ha ha! I TOIELD yew vee should vait for him to bee in a vulnerable state!"  
  
Vente stopped laughing and said, "Oh ho! Vasn't it me who said that?"  
  
"Oh, how cute! You are trying to hide your obvious admiration for me!"  
  
They stopped and slowly turned their heads toward the Lapitaur, who was a ways from them on the opposite side of the clearing. The two huge, lumbering lugs smiled at each other. "And look, Vente! A bonus prize!"  
  
Boble knew what he had to do. With all his might, he stampeded toward the two head first like a charging bull! He positioned his ear-hands up right, although still in a cuff, and tried with all his might to open them.  
  
Come on, he thought. Come on! COOOME OOOOOOOOOOON!!!  
  
BONK!  
  
Boble was on the ground, but wasn't unconscious. He lifted his head with the spare amount of energy he could muster, and gave them a nasty look. NOW, he wasn't happy!  
  
"HA HA HA! Lewk at ziss little guy! His ears are so veak, he might as vell be a baby!"  
  
"YEAH! Ha ha ha! Try eet again, Lapitaur, and vee can start making a ring- toss booth at an amusement park! HA HA HA!!!"  
  
He couldn't get up. They started to kick him in the sides every time he tried again and again to hit them back with his head! It escalated to the point where they would punch him whenever he even lifted a foot! Boble had never previously been poked fun at before, not to these extremes! Was Rayman right about this?! Did he really need exercise? Could he REALLY lead him to the hope and prosperity of saving his race?!  
  
Or... was... Rayman... just being... passively aggressive!!!!  
  
A hatred rose within Boble's core center that had never rose before! He saved them both from natives! And he betrayed him! Oh, what a fool I am to have hoped to find help on another planet! I should've never even attempted to abandon my people!  
  
His hatred melted into sadness. All is lost. All is utterly lost!  
  
He finally stopped moving and lay there on the ground. Achat and Vente stopped torturing him once they noticed. Vente sighed. "Okay, I think he's had enough. Let's go back to zee sheep and get zees two onboard."  
  
-----  
  
While all this was happening, there was indeed a witness who happened to be hiding beyond the clearing.  
  
Ly.  
  
"Oh. Is that Rayman?! How did he get unconscious?! OH! OH MY! MY GOOOOOOOD!!! OHMYGOD! I have to stop them!"  
  
She tried to follow their rapid pace through the dense forest! For lugs covered in bronze trinkets, and carrying a heavy Lapitaur, they could sure run fast! Her heart racing like the Dickens, her breath grew hoarse. At the same moment, they all drew nearer to Achat and Vente's 'Sheep', the one they both took to arrive at this planet. In fact, the aircraft was even LABELED "Sheep"!  
  
But she was just too late. Before she knew it, Rayman had been dragged by his hair into a 'Sheep' to God knows where, and she stopped.  
  
Closing her eyes, and crossing her legs as she sat down, she teleported herself to locate where Rayman was. Her image appeared in the interior of the spacecraft, floating over Rayman, who was still unconscious. "Rayman! Rayman! It's Ly! What happened?! Where are they taking you?! Wake up!" But Rayman didn't respond in the slightest!  
  
She wasn't prepared for this kind of situation, so she didn't have any energy to give to him. How could she even have any chance of rescuing him now?!  
  
Collapsing on all fours, Ly tried to collect her thoughts. What had just happened? Rayman was taken off of his home, and she had no idea at all where they were going! Her inner panic cracked through her thick exterior, and she grunted again and again, darting here and there! She had to get help! Somehow, she had to get—  
  
"Hey, Fairy! What's eatin' ya'?"  
  
"MURFY! GLOBOX! WE NEED TO RESCUE RAYMAN!"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"NOW! WE GOTTA GET HELP!"  
  
"Oh, yeah. This is one of those 'Rayman's-in-trouble-and-we-have-no-choice- but-to-heroically-come-to-his-rescue-even-though-we-KNOW-he's-powerful- enough-to-take-care-of-himself' kind of deals!"  
  
Globox caught up with Murfy. "Guess this means we'll miss the Annual Video Game Character Awards."  
  
Murfy turned to him in a whiplash. "WHAT?!"  
  
"You heard me. It's in three days! Everyone knows there's no way to get to another planet and back in three days unless we spend ONE day on that planet, at the most! And, using my high-ly intel-lect-u-al brain, I SURMISTHE that we won't be able to find Rayman all in one day!"  
  
Murfy zipped back to Ly and said, "Nu-uh! No way are we gonna' miss that! Rayman can rescue himself!"  
  
Ly was completely out of patience. "Murfy! You'd rather receive an award for yourself than rescue the friend and savior that he's been to us all these years?!"  
  
Murfy, who was normally quick with a retort, fell silent. "Okay, okay! We'll find help! But I reeeeeeeeeeeeeally can't miss it this year! We have to rescue Rayman before the Awards Night!"  
  
Ly brightened. "Whatever. Now hurry! I know just the place to go!"  
  
(to be continued) 


	5. Chapter 4

Rayman: Hands and Feet Scramble- Chapter 4  
Characters created by Michel Ancel  
Written by Andrew Kaiko  
  
  
I am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. Rayman is © 2002 Ubi Soft Entertainment. The character of Rayman and all other characters and subjects are all trademarks of Ubi Soft Entertainment. All rights reserved.   
  
Chapter 4   
  
Voices!   
  
Boble! Ly! Murfy! Globox! Gotta--   
  
Voices inside my head! Can't--make them-...  
  
Rayman failed yet again to wake himself up. Still conked out, thrown over Boble's tummy in the storage room of the ship, he lay there, inanimate.   
  
This is disgraceful! Why can't I wake myself up?! I commanded my hands to rise, but they fell somewhere. Where are they?! And my feet! I can't feel my feet! And my hands! And stomach! Why can't I feel anything?! Are my nerves finally shot?!   
  
At least my head is intact, apparently. I may not be able to keep track of my other body parts at the moment, but my head only seems to be unconscious. Well, judging from what my head is resting on, there are rhythmic vibrations. Am I moving? Am I on some kind of transporta-   
  
He lost signal again.  
  
Rayman was very close in his guess, though. But he was too... preoccupied... to notice the crucial details! The vibrations beneath him built up, in response to the gravitational pull of the nearing planet! It resembled the Death Star at a far distance. Closer, it revealed that the surface wasn't covered in weaponry, but tall buildings! An entire international metropolis!   
  
No one appeared to be out, and indeed, if there were people outside, they would get claustrophobic. Less than one percent of the surface was covered in anything but buildings! Only quiet streets, and occasional squares, covered what was left.   
  
The ship approached a particularly intimidating skyscraper. The tip of the skyscraper was connected at the highest floor by a terminal wide enough for a spacecraft to land through, for that is just what their ship did.   
  
The ship then approached the other end of the terminal. Even if Rayman was awake, he still would've fainted from the sight. Imagine an indoor, three- floor mall. Now multiply those floors by several thousand and the square feet of the building by several million! Now multiply the number of those kinds of buildings by another several million, and you have the general idea of what the surface of the planet looked like! Inside, was an unthinkable number of departmental, independent, second-hand, and factory outlet stores, all lined in uniform walls, divided by balconies and elevators. You couldn't even see the floor or ceiling!   
  
Activity was bustling on the floors below them like ants! There were at least 50 of each of the millions of different alien species who came all the way from the outer edges of the galaxy just to shop, play and be entertained in front of their blank faces!   
  
But Achat and Vente's ship did not stop at any of them. They passed right through the main room to the opposite end, where similar sets of doors waited them.   
  
In the landing area, Achat and Vente carried the two captives down the stairway. Other minions who resembled them, both in uniform and accent, were also doing the same, walking out of their own ships, and carrying their own captives from other planets.   
  
One of them spoke up to them, "Bonjour, Monsieurs! Ah' see yew attempt YET- A-GAIN... tew top our quota!"   
  
Achat barked, "Ah yah?! Vell, vee did! See here?! Nine arms on theez one, six parts on THEEZ one, and that makes thirteen!"   
  
"No, uh* eleven?" corrected Vente.   
  
The third minion, a smug, devious smile on his face, displayed his catch- a 50-footed alien! "And THAT'S just ONE captive!"   
  
The other minions stood around the duo, laughed and pointed.   
  
"Don't vorry, Vente. Soon, zee tables vill turn! But all that for later! Now, theez tew need to see... MADAM!"   
  
-----   
  
A sudden ZAP! jumped Rayman's head awake. The first thing he tried to do was turn his head around and get up... only, he couldn't! He noticed that his other parts of his body were disconnected from this control, and they were all laid in a uniform row on the top of a table, his head on the far left.   
  
In a state of panic, he tried to grasp what has happened after he was captured, but he didn't have any information! How did I get here? Who put my hands and feet and stomach in a row on a table?!   
  
Boble! Where is he!!   
  
"Rayman!" said a voice to his right. His head turned around and saw that Boble, who also came to, was sitting on the table to his right. The hind feet were spread outward and strapped to the table, as well as his tail. His head had minor bruises from before, but nothing serious.   
  
Then Rayman noticed those two big bronze thugs Achat and Vente, standing over them, holding a streamline-designed laser of some sort. Rayman assessed that that laser, whatever it was, was used to wake him up! And probably Boble too!   
  
He spoke immediately. "WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US!"   
  
Achat answered, "Only vhat makes yew unique."   
  
What did THAT mean?!   
  
Vente started to giggle uncontrollably in anticipation, when Achat slapped him on the arm and ordered him to take the two captives into the bosses' headquarters. Pushing the tables from behind, Rayman realized what he was lying on was a patient's roller bed, with handles on each side, and covered in white sheets. Boble was attached to another bed, pushed by Achat. The thugs' hands, covered in bronze gloves, clinked and clanked against the handle bars, making a sound that if heard for 30 straight minutes would be agonizing.   
  
Rayman, his head separate from his body and strapped to the bed, could not peer over and see below him, but he had sensitive nerves beneath the surface of his chin, so he could feel what it was like. For the first fifteen minutes, it was a smooth ride- the floor must've been made of fine marble. Then it changed to wood, and then to cement, and then to cobbled stones. The ride became bumpier and bumpier!   
  
He glanced over at Boble. He said nothing- he was probably just rebuilding his balance- but gave Rayman a look that was a cross between thankfulness and sorrow. Rayman wanted to say something instead, but he didn't have the energy. Besides, he had no control over his immobile parts at the moment.   
  
Rayman was getting nauseated when, to his relief, they stopped the beds. For the first time, he noticed the ceiling had changed from crystal modern architecture to a withered old Victorian/French set-up. In fact, everything about this new place was a blur of Old French and Victorian architecture, and furnished with the most expensive objects Rayman had ever seen! Rayman would've stopped to admire the treasures, if they weren't so rusted, broken, and hadn't appeared to be overly handled for thousands of years!   
  
If the first thing he noticed was the extravagance, the second would've been the dark gloomy atmosphere. The chandeliers were dimmed down to remind passer-bys of old horror movies, giving off an eerier, ugly orange tint to everything it touched. Anything not within the lights could not be distinguished. It was very stuffy- this corridor couldn't have been cleaned in years!   
  
Then he noticed that something was moving from behind him in the darkness. Achat signaled something in French to the thing that moved, at which point, the movement stopped. Some kind of guard creatures?   
  
Achat and Vente approached a door they stopped in front of, and knocked the doorknocker. As predicted, the knocker fell of its hinges and clinked on the floor.   
  
There was a peephole in the middle of the door, and it opened, revealing a small but shiny little eye. A middle-aged woman's voice barked from the other side of the door, "HEW EEZ EET?!" She sounded irritated.   
  
The woman must've noticed the captives, and her mood changed drastically. "Oooh, yew tew vere successful! Come in! Come in!"   
  
The door creaked slowly, and Rayman, whose eyes had adjusted to the darkness, flinched and shook his head from the blinding light! He blinked rapidly, and took a good look at the circular room they entered, no bigger than the Oval Office.   
  
If the corridor was dark, musty and filled with broken antiques, THIS room was bright, musty and filled with NEW, SHINY TREASURES! The French style still prevailed, and a dome covered the room. This room was clearly used a lot more than the corridor- not only was everything sparkling clean, but there was a desk, expensive chair, and various office supplies in the other end of the center of the room! The orange tint was still there, but it was now so bright that you could see everything clearly- the atmosphere in this office reminded Rayman of Count Razoff's mansion.   
  
The woman who answered the door was a plump, dominating presence- her clothing showed that this office was obviously her's. She was covered in decorative, flamboyant, rich jewelry, and she appeared to wear a tall wig. Her face was covered in so much make-up that she appeared a bright white, with dark highlighted for eye shadow and lipstick. Rayman was reminded of a French harlequin.   
  
But if he had a choice, he would've rather been in the corridor than in front of this lady! This gave him the creeps. Not to mention her fashion sense disgusted him from the start!   
  
Achat and Vente spoke, "Madam's request for new sheepments is fulfilled. Vee as well as hundred of scouts have planet-hopped all ovier the galaxy until vee found our best catch. ZEEZ tew are OUR best catch!"   
  
The lady barked, "Madam Inutile does not accept special shipments unless zey are in writing."   
  
Vente promptly took out a document that he filled out containing information about Rayman and Boble (physical information- it mentioned nothing about Rayman's hero status), and handed it to Madam Inutile. She crossed her eyes sternly at the document. Then she craned her round face into Rayman and Boble's personal space, to which they tried their best to cringe backwards. "Okay, zeez vill do. Achat! Vente! Get back to vork!"   
  
"But, Madam-"   
  
"MAINTENANT!"   
  
They both raced out the door they came through, leaving Rayman and Boble alone with the lady named Madam Inutile. Rayman did not feel a wink of positive vibe since he got in here. Angrily suspicious, he turned his head, following Madam's steps to her desk, putting the document into one of the many tiny drawers, and then taking out a blank sheet and writing something on it.   
  
As if to punch a hole through the silent atmosphere and put chaos in the Heavenly order, Rayman said, "We want out. Now."   
  
Madam only turned slightly to the head, and answered, "Ah yes. I keep forgetting creatures like yew can speak."   
  
Boble, keeping silent through the whole trip, cleared his voice and said, "Um... sorry to disturb you, Miss... but... can you at least tell us clearly what you want us for?"   
  
Not showing any emotion on the surface, but obviously annoyed, Madam Inutile rose from her chair. "Fine. Yew tew have been sheeped to the only known planet that eez covered entirely by commercial estate. I run zee second-hand shops in this entire region, and yew two are going to make my department all the better!"   
  
Rayman cut in, "What do you mean 'change for all the better'? HE SAID TO ANSWER IT CLEARLY!"   
  
Her face, as if covered behind a mask, smirked. "I vould vatch your voice, little creature. Yew tew have been zeroed in a mass of hundreds of alien creatures to be sheeped here, because yew possess unique... traits." Rayman caught on to what she meant by 'traits'. Something in his mind sent a small alert message to his conscience.   
  
"Because of your 'traits', yew tew are, een the eyes of our companies, extremely valuable, and unfortunately, vile you're here, yew don't have much area to speak your minds in terms of... rights. Yew," she pointed to Rayman. Her attitude shifted again from a formal authority figure to somewhat motherly. "Vhat causes yew to move without limbs?"   
  
Rayman "stood" his ground and didn't say anything.   
  
"And yew," she said to Boble in the same soft, quiet voice. "Tew front arms, four legs, a fist at zee end of a tail, AND tew hands at zee TEEPS of your EARS? Yew must get a lot of vork done vhere yew come from!"   
  
Rayman noticed she was much more interested in Boble than him.   
  
Boble was now quivering in his bed sheets.   
  
"I see yew are trembling, little boy." She finally straightened herself back to her regular posture. "Vell, then, your trembling eez enough to tell me that yew have an general idea of vhat is to happen to you. So-and yew are so very very lucky-I vill spare yew for a little vile. But... , in return for zeez favor, yew must dew something for me!"   
  
As soon as she finished her sentence, Rayman exploded into a fit of rage, his head shaking here and there to get out of the straps, like some demented hand puppet. Madam's behavior snapped back to a demanded authority figure as she grabbed a strange miniature laser, much like the one Achat and Vente had earlier, and shouted, "TAIS-TOL!"   
  
ZAP!   
  
Rayman's head was paralyzed. In a split second before that, Rayman realized that the lasers Achat, Vente, and Madam were all using had the power to paralyze various parts of a body when aimed at! Of course! Who would want to have their hands and feet sold, unless their bodies could not possibly go anywhere?!   
  
She turned back to Boble, who gasped at what happened to his new partner! "See that? That could happen to yew, eef yew don't return my favor. Until the next week, yew vill vork in the factory downstairs as an equal employee of my staff. Yew vill fulfill every task that eez assigned to yew... NOT to the best of your ability,... but to the BEST PERIOD! Eef you cannot do that for the next week, yew will suffer!"   
  
Boble's voice, trembling and feeling heavy, said, "A-a-and, w-what happens... after a week?"   
  
She then smiled a really big smile. She uttered, "Yew vill go to zee Chopper!"   
  
He didn't need to see the Chopper in order to understand what it did! Boble's heart started to beat violently, and he found himself breathing heavily.   
  
"YEEEZZZZZ* yew understand. Yew are a bright boy. I can tell yew von't let me down." She said that in a surprisingly low voice, as if to imitate a man. She then unstrapped him from the bed, whistled, and order two other bronze thugs to take him out of the office. Boble squirmed in their grasp, but it did nothing. If only he knew how to move his ear-hands and tail hand!   
  
When he was dragged out of the office, she then looked at Rayman, his entire body now paralyzed. She herself took the handle on the roller bed, pushed it to a small square slot in the wall, and threw his body, head last, into the dispatch tunnel.   
  
"Hee vill vind up een the central assembly line machine. Hee von't wake up anytime soon! I have to remind myself never to get a small Paralyzer- only the BIG ones can paralyze someone... forever!"   
  
-----   
  
The metal tunnel was deep and dark, and the endless twists and turns seemed to go on forever. Rayman's eyes could not open, so he did not see what was happening around him. As his parts tumbled and ricocheted off the sides of the tubes, they passed splits and merges, labeled with yellow paint, indicating which types of body parts went which way. Valves were installed to block passages and open others. But, like the corridor, everything was rusty and deteriorating.  
  
Since his purple center was in the lead, it was separated from the group, turning a left into a larger pathway labeled 'Energy Center Main 1'. Then, his left foot shot left through a funnel labeled 'Left Sneakers #168- Yellow', and his right foot shot right through a funnel labeled 'Right Sneakers #168- Yellow'. Both his hands zoomed down a slide, the entrance labeled 'White Hands #168- Main 1'.  
  
Finally, his head slid off an upward ramp, flew high in the middle of a larger metal space, and caught by a mechanical arm. The arm looked comical- it in itself was wearing a white glove, protruding from a mechanical arm, only it had an added sinister, edgy quality to it. Carefully craning the head downward into darkness, as if operated by a mother to a child, the hand placed it onto a moving belt. Or... was it a floor? For all anyone knew, it was completely black down there- there was no telling what was pulling the head in a horizontal direction to its right, in an array of other Raymanian heads, also paralyzed!  
  
But, for our purposes, let's say it was a conveyer belt carrying the heads.  
  
Above the belt were identical robotic hands cleaning and preparing them for purchase. The hands could've used some reprogramming- they were doing a shoddy job at it! At the end of the belt, a head looked exactly as it was at the beginning!  
  
After the belt, the heads were taken back into the light...  
  
...and "out of the pot, into the fire"!  
  
For they all dropped into a huge factory, constructed to sort them into their proper places, and store them away until their time came! It was filled with metal assembly line machines, fuming steam every now and then, tooting whistles, zaps, crunches, booms, fizzes, wumps, snaps, crackles and pops! The entire environment spanned to the horizon, like the mall did, but this time, the ceilings were filled with ultra-violet lights, creating an artificial sky, illuminating the entire room a bright sky blue.  
  
Two main characteristics could identify this factory. The cartoon hands, and the big, googly robotic eyes! The eyes, with completely black pupils in the middle of white hemispheres, could, at first glance, look extremely cute. They ranged in size from a normal eye, to one as big as the face of a clock tower, to some you would have to see under a microscope (those were used as surveillance cameras). Darting here and there, the robot eyes could also disengage from their installed locations, and become robots in the round, sprouting metal arms and legs. They were used to help workers with big tasks, overseeing parts of the room that others would find impossible to get to, as well as looking damn cute in a factory worker cap!  
  
Cylindrical, fat structures were placed in various stations on the floors, and above them, MORE identical robot hands were still busy, handling body parts like simple plush dolls. The hands, although sinister-looking, were capable of double takes and gestures. They were capable of fixing a possible problem before it happened (example: stuffing a bunch of hands into one doorway to catch up with the rhythm, and having succeeded. giving each other high-fives!). Some robot arms split into multiple hands, to compensate for time and space, making them resemble spider legs.  
  
The robot eyes, with the robot hands, were the two scientific inventions that were the trademark of this planet.  
  
Doorways were leading the body parts in and out, in and out, into and out of places so detailed, that it looked like am intricate "Where's Waldo's Head?" game. Some areas looked like Escher drawings. Others resembled contorting mazes of pipes, shoots and ladders. And everywhere, the same yellow, stenciled labels were displayed on every station. Hidden in and around the cylinders, factory workers dressed like Achat and Vente were busy at work, pushing carts, making sure nothing malfunctioned, and eating donuts. Some were even rushing to and fro across raised metal bridges.  
  
One of the workers must've been on his donut break too long, for one hand missed picking up a body part out of a glitch in the system. The body part, a pink women's shoe with a pansy design on it, plopped down on the aluminum floor. The impact put the shoe back to life again! As if looking out to see if the coast was clear, the shoe hopped its way away from the main center of activity.  
  
By now, all of Rayman's six parts were lost in the sea of factory sorting. Wherever they went, you could rest assured that they were all put in their place, stored among layers and layers of archival compartments that covered the walls of the factory. Some were even put in cardboard boxes, others in paper wrap, others in bubble wrap, or, just directly placed in one of the stores of the malls, all done by mechanical hands.  
  
Still unnoticed, the pink pansy shoe hopped its way out of the factory room...  
  
-----  
  
"Eet eez veeeeeeeery eenterestinc!"  
  
Ly, Globox and Murfy were waiting nervously for Dr. Zchiendrich's information. Dr. Zchiendrich was the same species as Rayman, and had helped him before when Globox and Murfy were trying to find their friend on the Island of Loss.  
  
He continued, "Dee SHEEP you tell mee ov, reminds me dat..."  
  
The three craned closer to him, their mouth open.  
  
"...dat I must go to dee John-John!" He hobbled up from his chair and inched his way to the backroom of the occult shop he ran.  
  
Murfy flew his arms up, "I am sick and tired of that geezer and his uncontrollable organs."  
  
Ly said, "Well, when you gotta' go... you know the rest. Listen. I was so worried before because the last I saw of Rayman, he was unconscious! When he doesn't get up after a minute, I KNOW he's in deeper trouble than usual! We have to at least ASSIST him!"  
  
"Heh. I guess the fairy's right."  
  
Globox, his curiosity getting the best of him yet again, fiddled around with a magicians wand he found in the shop.  
  
Ly shouted. "Globox, be careful with that!"  
  
"Relax," said Murfy. "It's from this shop! It's undoubtedly a cheap, plastic—"  
  
ZAP! Globox turned Murfy into an elephant!  
  
"Oh, NOW it's personal! Give me dat!"  
  
Dr. Zchiendrich zoomed back into the fortune-telling booth with a book in hand. "Customerz! I beelieeve I havinc zee answer! Sit down, Fairy. Sit down, Blue Frog. Sit down, Elephant. I will now deespeensinc with thee information!"  
  
The doctor read from the book he had, adjusting his thick glasses. He was completely unaware that the three customers were grabbing the wands and turning each other into various creatures and things. Ly was using her energy balls.  
  
"Approximately one-hundred years ago," ZAP! "the rising demand for traded goods," ZAP! "called for an entire," ZAP! "planet to be sold and used," ZAP! "to build commercial estate on!" ZAP! "It grew into a huge, commercial," ZAP! "corporate monster, loosing other," ZAP! "peoples' jobs and," ZAP! "buying other companies." ZAP! "As time went on," ZAP! "the executives ran out of ideas for new products because," ZAP! "every idea was used already!" ZAP! "So, most recently," ZAP! "they used a new tactic that," ZAP! "should've been outlawed by the intergalactic," ZAP! "government." ZAPZAPZAP! "I say! Put that down beefore you turninc zee flyinc frog here into a zebra. Thanks you. And that tactic was... selling body parts from creatures no one has ever heard of, were endangered, or weren't needed by the original owner any longer."  
  
Ly, now a flamingo, said, "But Rayman isn't any of those things!"  
  
"Veell, as zee good doctor says, 'Eet eez beetteer to make due with what you have then with what you must reech for'!"  
  
Murfy crawled his eight legs onto the table and said, "You mean he's going to be sold for unjust reasons?! Damn, I never liked their products anyway."  
  
Globox pranced around. "HA ha HAHAHA! You cannot tame GLOBOX, the WILD CLYDESDALE!"  
  
Ly then flew her pink wings over his back, and sat on his saddle. "Aww, Globox the Wild Clydesdale is caught," he pouted.  
  
"Giddyap, Globox! Rayman can't do HALF the stuff he does if he's not in one piece! He SERIOUSLY needs his help! Come on, Murfy! Spin a web up to the saddle and let's RIDE!"  
  
Ly grabbed the book and the wand and put it in the pocket strapped to the saddle. Globox galloped out of the shop walls, leaving a hole shaped like a Clydesdale carrying a flamingo and a spider!  
  
"Thanks SO much, Doctor!"  
  
"Good luck, keeds! And y'all cominc BACK now, you HEER?!"  
  
(to be continued) 


	6. Chapter 5

Rayman: Hands and Feet Scramble- Chapter 5  
Characters created by Michel Ancel  
  
Written by Andrew Kaiko  
  
  
  
I am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. Rayman is © 2002 Ubi Soft Entertainment. The character of Rayman and all other characters and subjects are all trademarks of Ubi Soft Entertainment. All rights reserved.   
  
Chapter 5   
  
The robotic hands were ever hard at work in the factory. They didn't mind. Even though they were capable of showing a little emotion, they had no brain, and so, didn't need breaks.  
  
But as for the factory workers, it was an endless cycle. Nothing changed in the sterile environment, and Boble, who had been working there for some time now, lifted his hand off the assembly line in a jerky movement, and stared into space. Today was the day he had forgotten how long he had been here! And how could he not? There were no windows to show the sun and moon, no calendars, no signals, no bells for breaks, no clocks. It was as if the entire concept of time had been completely ignored.  
  
So, the only way the workmen could tell when their breaks were, was to decide if they were too tired to concentrate. If they were, they would take a break on their own accord, which meant that there was no guarantee there would be someone else on break to talk to at the same time.  
  
Boble found it difficult to work in the position he was put in- packaging. Packaging was usually reserved for the fastest and brightest workmen, because it was the position that required the most things to do in the smallest amount of time! At least five things could be going on at once. They included taping, holding the flaps in place, reaching above for the reinforcements hanging directly above their heads, placing the warp inside the packages, and putting them back on the assembly line. Also, the belts were going at fast speeds, so much that Boble found himself dealing with three packages at once!  
  
He did have at least a bit of understanding for why Madame put him in this position and not others. This would be a great opportunity to learn how to use his ear-hands and tail hand. That was really the only thing motivating him to stay here, and did give him more exercise than he ever could've gotten back home.  
  
But still, his basic emotion right now was silent desolation. Clearly, his planet had been gone by now. And no matter what, the day that Madame would put him in the Chopper awaited him... any time now! The dreaded event could take place when he's old and gray- it could take place after he finished this shift! How was he to tell?! He was at a blind alley. Not a moment went by where his heart wasn't beating at a fast rate.  
  
Finally, he couldn't focus on the job anymore, and decided to take a short break. His legs weak from standing for so long, and when he placed his body onto a nearby seat, he felt like they weren't there at all.  
  
He looked around the room to get his eyes focused on far distances than on close objects. The first thing he noticed wasn't how each object in the factory looked. It was how many of these things there were! Innumerable amounts of not only products, but of factory workers, steel bridges, pipes, machines, robots, hands, carts, boxes, spare parts left littered on the sides of the walls... For the first time, he noticed that this place hasn't been cleaned up in months!  
  
Everyone is so concentrated on distributing so many of their items, he thought, that they are missing how they look!  
  
Indeed, Boble got a chance to examine some of the products he had to package, out of boredom. He found that they were of very poor quality. If Madame wanted to impress consumers, the only thing impressive about this whole planet was the apparent fact that everyone was more serious about quantity than quality. If so, why did more and more consumers come? What made their business so great?  
  
Finally, when we was refreshed, Boble got back on his feet and back to the 'ol assembly board. His ear-hands and tail hand were struggling to break out of their baby grasp, but they still didn't budge.  
  
How long will this last?, he thought.  
  
Or maybe, the question should be, exactly how much am I doing?  
  
------  
  
High noon.   
  
It was quiet. Too quiet.  
  
Nothing moved in that vast, hot desert in the middle of nowhere! Maybe except for a tumbleweed or two rollin' by. Okay, and maybe except those three dehydrated organisms lying in the middle of a sand dune!  
  
Ly the flamingo was the first to regain what energy she had left. She coughed for a while, and her voice was hoarse and soft. "We...we gotta' find civilization quick. Flamingos can't take this kind of environment."  
  
"Ha! I thought a day ago was the last time you would say that," said Murfy the spider, barely visible in the surface of the sand.   
  
"I just KNOW that book mentioned something about finding the nearest passenger launch port on the other side of the mountains!"  
  
"You just DON'T GIVE UP, do you?! We are gonna die! Die, I tell you!"  
  
"You're right. Maybe I don't know when to quit! But you have no idea how Rayman's absence affects us all! We can't give up! Maybe, if we had taken that left turn..."  
  
"Or maybe if Globox hadn't left the flippin' last water bottle for himself! Some heroic Clydesdale!"  
  
Globox, on his side, looked the most adapted to this environment. "Hey, a big guy like Globox the wild Clydesdale gets VERY thirsty, VERY quickly!"  
  
Ly added, "Well, it's a good thing he still has the wand! Globox, get that thing out! I've had it with this body!"  
  
"Globox the wild Clydesdale complies to his mistress's request," He craned his head back to his side, and rummaged through his bag to get the wand. Finally, he had between his teeth the wand. He carefully placed the wand beside Ly's wing. She struggled to lift her wing, but soon had the wand in her grasp, and swung it at herself.  
  
In a poof, she got her fairy figure back! "Huh! Whaddya' know!" She pointed it at the other two, who also became themselves again. "I wonder what I did different that time..."  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud humming sound coming from above.   
  
"Do you hear that?"  
  
"Why is the ground getting darker in a suspiciously spaceship-shaped, expanding shadow?" said Murfy, with a dry, crusty tongue tied into a knot.  
  
A small faint dot in the sky grew bigger and bigger at an exponential rate! "Oh... my... GUYS! RUN!" They all got up and stumbled over each other, dispersing from the three sand angels they made! The sand angels were no more, once they were blown away by the impact of a huge metal spacecraft! The impact sent an enormous amount of sand whirling through the air, radiating outward, carrying the three into the air in somersaults, and hitting them into the sand!  
  
Once the sand cleared in the air, the hatch doors flew open in a very rusty and awkward fashion, and out landed a round form, out of which came loud grunt. The form gathered itself up on two haphazardly shinny stumpy legs, supported a plump body in red and black clothing, designed in a plaid pattern. It shook its head, and, having trouble bending forward, tried to find its cap. After a few minutes, a green baseball cap was placed on top of the figure's small head, and it crawled out from underneath the ship. Standing with as straight a posture as it could get between all the fat, it examined the ship as if admiring it.  
  
"Well, gosh dermit! Looks lahk O'l Betsy done hurtn' self sumthin' bad. Welp, nothin' lahk some ol' Windex won't— who goes there?"  
  
He scanned the horizontal orange landscape for about 100 degrees counter- clockwise, until he noticed a pair of hands waving out of the dunes. One was slim and yellow with purple stripes. The other was stumpy and blue. He raced over to the hands, and grabbed what was attached to them out of the sand, waterfalling tons of specks off of the figures. Ly and Globox coughed and coughed- they couldn't even open their eyes!  
  
"Woah, WO-HOHOHOAH! Lemme' getting' that there hanky-cheef fer one sec offa' minute!" He grabbed a moist hankerchief from his jean pocket, and wiped their faces. Ly bright eyes revealed themselves.  
  
"Well, what's a purty damsel lahk you doin' out in these here parts?"  
  
Ly tried to speak, but she still had some grains in her throat.   
  
Murfy managed to speak first. "She's with us, Mister! And the next time you crash land your ve-hickle on a planet, take the time to look for a good area to crash first!"  
  
"Well, perdon me, mah' good sir, but would one take the tahm to considah' the chances of findin' a space. given the available time of a particulah' victim in the middle of a crash land—"  
  
"Okay, okay! You made your point! You don't have to go all Einstein on me, Misterrrr-uhhhh..."  
  
"Trucker. Mr. Trucker."  
  
Murfy made a contorted face. "Uh, yeah, okay. Trucker. I guess I don't have to know what you do for a living, huh? Ha ha ha ha... haaaa."  
  
"Do you guys, uh, wanna' go in mah' ship ta' re-joo-vinate?"  
  
Ly could speak now. "Mr. Trucker, that's very kind of you, but I think we're safer out here than in the state that your vehicle is in now."  
  
"Suit yerselves. Welp, here's some pick-you-ups, at least." He tossed a big water bottle into Globox's hands, to his delight. "Was he the wisest choice to hand that to?" ask Murfy.  
  
"Welp, ya'll best git outta' thisere' desert soon. It don't git much cooler at night, ya' know. God speed!" He then turned and walked back toward his ship, about to get out the toolbox.  
  
Murfy popped himself out of the pile of sand, and reactivated his wings. "HEY! SHE WAS WRONG! WE CAN USE YOUR HELP!"  
  
Ly gave him an accused look. "Murfy! Did you take a look at that guy?! Dirty, sloppy... I wouldn't trust him if he gave me money!"  
  
"He gave us water!" pointed out Globox, already gulping it down like the Dickens.  
  
Murfy shook the insect debris off of his robe. "Hey, Ly! You see an accident waiting to happen! I, however, see an opportunity waiting for us to take flippin' advantage of! So... Mr. Trucker. Can you take a hand-full of weary, worn-out travelers to the shopping planet?"  
  
Trucker turned around. "Welp, sure! As soon as ah' find out where ah' am now..."  
  
"You DO know where you are, isn't that right?"  
  
"Nope. We wanderin' truckers never got none in terms a' travel skills n' a big edgimication."  
  
"Uh-huh. Well, I guess it just runs in every circle of friends," Murfy said half to himself. "SO. Can you take us there?"  
  
The trucker scratched his waist, and straightened himself as if he just woke up. "The ship? Welp, she may not look lahk much, but she's dependable as an ol' Cocker Spaniel an' sturdier than a wagon on' th' ol' Originie Trail! Hee hee! Those were the good days..."  
  
"Did- did you even hear a word I said?"  
  
Globox unstrapped the saddle he still had on. "MMF! Murfy, I think he's tired. All alone in that big void of darkness... I know I would be bored after a while."  
  
"Wait!" Ly jumped in. "That spacecraft can fly HOW far?"  
  
"Welp, ah' reckon the lass can stand a few trillion light years on 'er if she's full o' gas. But ifn' yer plannin' on takin' 'er, she won't fly very far. Right now, she's near empty! That's why ah'm on this planet."  
  
"We're not planning on taking... 'her'. We want YOU to take US with you!"  
  
"To the... wait, where didja' say?"  
  
"To the only planet in the universe covered in commercial property! You DO know where that is, right?"  
  
"Take... you?"  
  
"YES, 'TAKE US'!"  
  
"... you mean... actually GO somewhere?"  
  
-----  
  
"BOBLE! I VONT YOU EEN MY OFFICE NOW!"  
  
It was like a bolt of lightning, smashing the silence into shreds! Boble cowered in agony at the sound- he had been so adjusted to silence now that finally hearing someone else's voice was like a disturbance in the balance of nature! Not to mention it made his ears ache.  
  
Where was the exit door again? No, not there... Was it even on this floor? Oh, wait there it is!  
  
He raced toward the door, and, now that his leg muscles were stronger, galloped up toward the maze of dark brown stairways with a speed that could rival a cheetah. Within minutes, he stormed into Madame's office with as professional an entrance he could muster between his panting.  
  
Madame Inutile, who was now decked up in another of her fancy clothing, raised her head from her desk, expecting him. Was this the 15th blue dress she had? I'd love to take a look at her wardrobe... if only for the size of it.  
  
"Very good. I see you are getting faster. Eet ees time for your check- up!"  
  
In the next several hours (yes, that's how long it was- Boble had no idea how long it's been) since spending practically introverted servitude in the factory, Boble's experience had become a bit more active. Madame gave Boble a check-up every now and then to see how well his limbs were developing. Unfortunately, she never told him her schedule for the check- ups, which kept Boble in timelessness.   
  
"Mmhmm. Yes, I see your legs and arms are much stronger now. However, eet disappointments mee zat your three unique limbs are still underdeveloped! How could zey be?! You have been in their long enough- zey should be free by now!"  
  
Boble would've responded if his throat weren't weak from lack of using his vocal cords.   
  
"Get back down there and keep vorking! I'll bet yew are happy that yew stay in the factory longer, no? Not having to vorry about the dreaded Chopper for long, no? Vell, that's good! Because I STILL von't tell you when the Chopper vill be! To be vithout Time eez to live life to zee present! No?"  
  
Boble nodded his head. He found this surprisingly comforting.  
  
"Good. Now GET BACK TO VORK!"  
  
As if willingly. Boble raced back the way he came, just as fast.  
  
Madame then strolled back to her desk, and... took out a rusted pocket watch!  
  
"Yew vill be only MINE, little watch! No one vill know the truth..."  
  
-----  
  
The stars were all clear in the starry sphere, enclosing the old spacecraft sailing... precariously... through it. A loud chuck chuck chuck rattled in the room-sized muffler in the rear. The trucker had filled the ship up with more gas after they found a station, but still, at one point or another, Ly could've sworn she felt it loosing altitude!   
  
"That's just the 'ol turb-U-lance, rustlin' up sum trouble!"  
  
"You said it would end two hours ago!"  
  
"And ANOTHER one'll fla' ba', raht afta' the otha'. Ifn' yer bored, go upstairs."  
  
The towel felt like such a relief, but even with hot water soaked into it, it still wasn't comfortable enough. The trucker continued to steer at the helm, if you could call reclining at a –50 degree angle and guiding the bottom of the wheel with your big toe steering.  
  
Stepping upstairs, it got a bit mustier. She could hear Globox just coming out of the shower, which was, surprisingly, the cleanest room in the ship. Murfy was reading the book they got back at the occult shop. Lots of Windex was kept in a closet in piles, the door left open. Clearly, this trucker didn't invite people often.  
  
Moisture popped out of the door hatch, letting out steam and a refreshed blue waddler in a white blanket. "I feel at home again!"  
  
"At least ONE of us does," muttered Murfy, not looking up at the book.  
  
Ly cleaned herself some more with the blanket, and tied it around herself. She then slumped down next to Murfy, who appeared to be completely engrossed in what he was reading. "Hey, Fairy—"  
  
"LY!"  
  
"Right, right. Fairy, I think I've found out why the launch port wasn't where the quack said it was! It was built before the last millennia, right?"  
  
"Right..."  
  
"Says here they demolished all the old ports that didn't go by the new regulations made in the turn of the century. And why? Because the Neotopian council needed more MONEY, JUST like they always do! It's their reputation!"  
  
"Murfy... is that book an authorized edition?"  
  
They were interrupted by the trucker's footsteps coming upstairs. "Money is the route of all EEE-vil."  
  
"You heard what we were talking about? Who's driving?"  
  
"She's on autopilot. Sigh... Ah' nevah' trusted the council. Wha', in MAH' day, we just went with what we had, 'n no more."  
  
Ly and Murfy fell silent for a while. Globox appeared oblivious to what they were talking about, darting here and there, and admiring the cheap stuff the trucker had around the ship. Clanking and clunking ambience filled their conversation.   
  
"...then, thanks for giving us this lift, Mr. Trucker. I guess you won't accept anything from us in return?"  
  
Mr. Trucker lightly moved his head left, then right, grinning a bit.   
  
Globox finally joined in the conversation, lugging the loot he got from the walls, which was now half bare.  
  
"GLOBO—"  
  
"Now, now. Ah'll deal with it." Mr. Trucker approached Globox slowly. Globox, who expected a pounding, flinched and dropped the loot on the floor. "Please! Don't impale me! I wanna' live!"  
  
"Ah' won' hurt ya' none. Ah' couldn't resist mah' curiosity when I was your..."  
  
"Officially, I'm 60 years old!"  
  
He feel silent. "Uh... just- just practice self-control, Son."  
  
A new turbulence shook the ship for about a few more seconds.  
  
"Th' turb-U-lance's occurin' more frequently! If we gotta' git t' where eva' you're goin', we gotta' fahnd an alternate route!"  
  
"We gotta' get to the commercial planet! Don't you remember?!"  
  
"Wha', no. Wonder wha' ah' don't..."  
  
Ly and Murfy were both running down the stairs, followed by Mr. Trucker. Suddenly, the large trucker halted in his tracks, bumping the other two backward into Globox's rubbery stomach! "OH! AH' KNOW WHA'! Because ah' jotted on mah' cal-IAND-er t' avoid that planet today!"  
  
"WHAT?! Why?!"  
  
"Because it's gonna' be crowded! They're having a BIG SALE this month!"  
  
Ly was suddenly as frantic as she had been when she first saw Rayman kidnapped! "SALE?!!?"  
  
Murfy said, "What's the matter, Fairy? Everyone likes sales!"  
  
"RAYMAN'S there! Mr. Trucker, how long has this sale lasted?!"  
  
"It's almost ova'!"  
  
Without thinking, Ly zipped to the wheel, and hit the accelerator!"  
  
"Hey! N-now, Lady, ah'm the only one who knows howta—"  
  
"WE GOTTA' GET TO THAT SALE BEFORE IT ENDS! THE REDUCED PRICES! THE SECOND ITEMS FREE!"  
  
Murfy brightened! "I LIKE your THINKING!"  
  
"WE GOTTA' GO AND RESCUE RAYMAN!"  
  
"Yeah, the reduced prices, the—wait, what's this about Rayman?"  
  
Mr. Trucker displayed horror in front of his guests for the first time, as he watched Ly's foot slamming the accelerator! In response, everything loose flew backwards into the room at the end, or against the walls! Even Globox and Murfy got plastered against the wall!  
  
"MY SWEET BETSY!!!!"  
  
Murfy spoke through his clenched teeth. "At least we're on our way."  
  
-----  
  
"I told yew to get zee red wire into zee red socket!"  
  
"I'LL give you a sock-eet!"  
  
Achat and Vente were arguing over the controls that operated one of the machines.  
  
"Look! I am, how yew say, VERY annoyed! Madame vonted us to find out vot's wrong with the machine, and yew are putting the red wire in the wrong socket, I tell you!"  
  
"No! THAT one eez the wrong socket! THEEZ one eez the right one because eet has the little thing on the top!"  
  
"Don't lay zat technical jargon on ME—OOP!"  
  
Vente accidentally shoved Achat's arm backwards, letting the wire fly in the air! Spinning out in the open, it then ricocheted against various parts of the pipes, down into the main factory room, and plopped down onto an assembly line in motion! That assembly line happened to be carrying a line of Raymanian heads, all paralyzed. The workers were on break, and had their back turned toward it.  
  
What a perfect coincidence for that wire to land on top of one of the heads! Electrocuting it, the head was now back alive! But before it could see the workers to its right, it was already down the dark shoot at the other end of the assembly line, and lay there on a pile of other heads.  
  
It spoke. "BOBLE! WHERE AM I?!"  
  
(to be continued) 


	7. Chapter 6

Rayman: Hands and Feet Scramble- Chapter 6  
Characters created by Michel Ancel  
Written by Andrew Kaiko  
http:www.sketchesandsquirrels.com  
  
I am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. Rayman is © 2002 Ubi Soft Entertainment. The character of Rayman and all other characters and subjects are all trademarks of Ubi Soft Entertainment. All rights reserved.   
  
Chapter 6   
  
The smoke cleared and dispersed outward over the surrounding gray buildings. Shocked passer-bys stopped in their tracks, their mouths gapping open. But of course, nobody felt the nerve to approach the crashed vehicle and save whoever was buried underneath the rubble.   
  
They all ran away once the doorway opened up! Out crawled four apparently unscathed strangers, all tripping over one another and trying to get up, but falling down again!   
  
"A perfect landing, Ms. Free Rider!" muttered Murfy.   
  
-----  
  
The entire city had a very cold mood about it. Everything was gray, and not a single curve could be seen. Only stoic, straight lines formed the uninspired walls of the buildings. And, like New York City, the streets were arranged in a grid, with a long street in each of the four directions. The more they wandered, the more Ly began to think that stains and cracks were the city's identifying motif.   
  
"We've been walking for hours, and NOTHING looks different! There are no signs, no cars, no landmarks, no billboards, the people out here look like zombies (don't get too close, Globox), and no SIDEWALKS!"   
  
Mr. Trucker said, "Welp, then ah' reckon th' REAL attractions are inside these buildins'!"   
  
Murfy scoffed. "Obviously! So let's look for a door! Is there one over here?! No? How about over there?! Can't find one, huh? Oh! I forgot! There AREN'T any doors, Geniuses! How the he-"   
  
Ly grabbed him by the coat collar when he was in mid-air. Controlling herself, she put on a forced smile. "Murfy! Uh... just... be quiet, okay."   
  
Murfy flew over towards Globox, following him instead. "I tell ya', Globox, I never knew I would be the one to say this, but this quest is doomed! Finding Rayman will be like trying to find a needle in fifty haystacks!"  
  
Globox replied, "Huh? Oh, sorry. I was too busy picking my teeth with this needle I found. You were saying?" "Never mind." That wasn't the only thing on his mind at the time. The date for the Best Comic Sidekick/Guide for Adventurous Heroes Award at the Annual Video Game Character Awards Show wasn't getting any farther away, and from the looks of things, he wouldn't make it. And with Globox never giving him a wink of time to prepare for it, he was beginning to think he might as well skip his life-long dream.   
  
"Something wrong?"   
  
"Huh? Oh, no, no, Globox. I'm fine."   
  
None of them wanted to ask for help, because the pedestrians were all minding their own business, their heads focused on the dark gravel road. And compared to New York, there were only about fifteen of them in each location they crossed through- no wonder there weren't any vehicles out!   
  
Mr. Trucker was the first to speak after another hour. "Ya' know, ah've noticed that there're sum innerestin' stuff underneath the sewage grates on the sides of the roads..." Ly was puzzled. "Why would there be grates? Does it rain here? Is there any litter on the streets? I don't see any clouds or pollution! I feel both sad and clean at the same time!"   
  
"Got me. But jus' look!" He was right. Peering downward into the grates, they noticed lights and movement underneath, even ambiences of crowds and machines! That must've been it! The planet operated covered by a mock city as a shield on the surface!   
  
"Rayman's sure to be somewhere down there! But how do we-WOAH! WHO PUSHED ME?! I'M FAAAAALLIIIIIING! MUUUUUUUUURFYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU IIIIIIIIIIIIDIIIIOOOOOooooooooo..."   
  
-----   
  
Boble, his respect for Rayman now fully formed, tries when he can to find Rayman's head in the factory while off duty.   
  
-----   
  
They could've ran to find him.   
  
They could've started searching for him right there.   
  
But they could not. They must've stood there for a full hour. The visions displayed for their pleasure possessed them. They could not resist tearing their eyes off the dazzling sights. The excited crowds running out one store and in another. The bells, music, sounds, and voices, echoing across the semi-cylindrical ceilings, decorated with brightly colored tapestries, artificial gigantic plants on cables dangling from them! The warm, orange tint the ultra-violet lights gave off like Las Vegas!   
  
"Did... I... just... die and go to Teensie-bopper Heaven?!" uttered Murfy!   
  
Ly snapped back to reality. "Oh, come on, now, Murfy! You're how old?! Surely, you can contain your... incredibly strong excitement toward the... alluring... eye-catching... huhuhuhuuuu... uh... where am I?"   
  
"Underneath the sewage grate! You would've noticed if you weren't standing their drooling! And speaking of drooling, Globox! Cease the flood!"   
  
"I can't help it! It's so beautiful..."   
  
Mr. Trucker shook off his fixation and straightened his belt. "Welp, guess ah'd better get a'goin'..."   
  
Murfy whipped around. "But your Ol' Betsy is destroyed!" "That don' worry me none. Ah'm a wanderer', ah' go aroun'n'round'n'round! Ah'll fahnd sum way t' escape this barre-trap. Besides, this kanda' shoppin' place is unhealthy fer me."   
  
"Well, thanks a bunch for the lift! You saved our fairy butts! You sure you don't want any service from us?"   
  
Mr. Trucker turned around, and spoke while he was walking farther away from them. "Ooo, nope! You guys need to git here more importantly than ah' do, so, good luck t' ya'! Hope you fahnd your friend whoever he is..."   
  
"His name's Rayman!" Murfy shouted across the walkway.   
  
Mr. Trucker turned around, and gave him a stare that Murfy hadn't seen before. Sort of a twinkle in his eye. "Ah'll remember! Keep on truckin', y'all hear?! Keep on truckin'..." With that, he disappeared into the crowd.   
  
Ly, finally out of her trance, watched him disappear. "What a nice man."   
  
Globox, out of his trance as well, was still admiring the various signs that surrounded them. Floor upon floor, the walls drenched in colored ultra-violet lights, there was no way he could focus on anything else. "Ooo! Ooo! I wanna' go THERE, and THERE, and THERE, and-"   
  
"Hold your Clydesdales, Globox," Murfy tugged at his feet. "If we're gonna' achieve our goal, which is, may I remind you, a matter of life and death for our best friend,... we gotta' search in an orderly fashion... mmmm, fashion..."   
  
"Tear your eyes off of that clothing store, Murfy," Ly ordered! "I agree! So the first thing we need to do is find some sort of map, or directory... Oh, look! There's one over there!" She pointed to a three-sided revolving stand, one side which displayed a diagram of the section they were in. A bright yellow arrow pointed to a certain location on the map, which said, 'You Are Here'.   
  
Now, keep in mind that none of these creatures had ever been to a mall. In fact, Neotopia had no use for any real currency- they only bartered and traded. The fact that they were in another galaxy made everything around them more foreign than if they had stayed in their own galaxy.   
  
Murfy stared at the arrow. "Huh. Well,... if, 'We Are Here', then... that helps in determining how to get back 'Here', right?"   
  
Ly fixed her hair back and put on a determined expression. "Okay. The letters and numbers on this legend stand for every stop. So, I guess if we just match the same ID number to the ones on the map... we can use it to get to where we want to go!"   
  
Globox also peered over the other two. "Does that say, 'Candy Store'?! I wanna' go there first!"   
  
"Okay, but that's way out of our path. I think it would make sense to stop at all the shops on our way there first, just to make sure we've checked in every possible place Rayman could be."   
  
Murfy was suddenly suspicious. "Are you just saying that because all the major women's apparel stores are on that walkway?" "What?! NO! No! We can't get distracted from our rescue mission! This is serious! We can't just separate and run off like a pack of offspring! We are NOT here to get anything EXCEPT Rayman! All right?! ...I call Lord and Vader!"   
  
Murfy restrained her again. "Wait! We forgot to consider one other thing... do these aliens require trades of any sort?"   
  
They all paused and thought about it for, literally, a second. "NAAAH!"   
  
"I call SPACY'S!"   
  
"I call Galaxy Game Console!"   
  
"CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!"   
  
"Meet back here at the big pointy fountain!"   
  
"Ready, set, GO!"   
  
-----   
  
"YOU VHOT?!"  
  
Madame's white face was an inch away from her two miserable assistants, craning over her desk. They had told her about their little mistake, but fortunately, none of them knew about Rayman's head regaining consciousness.  
  
"Yew imbeciles! I told yew tew to be extra careful with zat machine, no?!"  
  
"But, Madame! Vee really did oieur best! Nothing could stand between us and honest mistakes, for vee aren't machines... besides, it vas Vente's fault."  
  
"VHOT?! I did not touch zee machine! It vas your fault zat yew don't know the first thing about mechanics!"  
  
"Silence, both of yew! Vente! Three more hours on your studies of Mechanical Engineering!"  
  
"Aw..."  
  
"And Achat... three more hours of your studies about Not Blaming Someone Else On Lack of Mechanical Engineering!"  
  
"Aw..."  
  
"I do not run a shnewty creamery here! Zee statistics show zat zee prices for second-hand parts are rising at an exponential rate, vile zee prices for everything else are lowering! My part of the business eez desteened tew get even bigger, and zee last thing I need are YEW TEW SHNEWTING EET OOP! Now GET TO VORK! And NO MORE SHNEWTING, SHNEWTERS!"  
  
The "shnewters" both continued to bicker, walking out of her office. Madame heaved a heavy sigh, returned to sitting at her desk, and then put on a quizzical look. She prompted herself to her tiny feet, and walked out of her office, past a few dark corridors lighted by candelabras, and stopped in front of a window, peering over one of the Main Areas of the factory.  
  
The robot hands and eyes were still ever hard at work, as well as the factory workers. Somewhere in that vast array of worker was the one Lapitaur who, if taught to train his extra limbs correctly, would be the key to driving this business to greatness.  
  
Madame had become more and more gracious toward Boble in the past few hours. Or so Boble thought. Indeed, she gave him more time off to get him inside the gym and train his inactive limbs to maturity, but still they were still closed. To Boble, the trips to the gym was a relief, but still, he knew his time would one day come.  
  
If only there was a better, quicker way to get those limbs to work.  
  
-----  
  
Good, thought Murfy. I can't believe how this will work out! This trip may not be so bad after all!  
  
He was admiring the covers of video and computer game cases on the shelves in the Galaxy Game Consol. To avoid fans or the paparazzi, he was sure to disguise himself underneath his own coat, turned inside out. He was also sure not to use his wings, and therefore, had to walk like any other boring wingless creature. He found this to be very uncomfortable, being such a tiny greenbottle, but he could run pretty fast.  
  
This also meant that he needed help reaching anything above the bottom shelf!  
  
"Do you need assistant with anything ELSE from the other 'easy-to-reach' shelves, Sir?" asked a bemused employee.  
  
"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I'd like to see that cover with the orange weasel creature."  
  
"Wonderful choice, Sir." The employee took out a copy of Jak and Daxter II, and handed it to Murfy.  
  
"That'll be all. Thanks for the assistance."  
  
"Oh, that's what I'm here for, Sir."  
  
Looking at the cover, he noticed that Daxter's friend looked drastically different from the last game, since this was the second in the series. Murfy thought, if his friend is any more mature than in the previous game, my rival would be sure to have a lot more difficulty getting the award—  
  
"MURFY!"  
  
"GAAAH!" He spun around, and who should be towering over him but Globox! Somehow, he had spent a short time at the candy store, and just by chance, bumped into Murfy!  
  
Murfy whispered to him, but forcefully. "What are you doing here?! I thought you were at the candy store! Are you supposed to be looking for Rayman too?! It's best if we split up!"  
  
"I was at the candy store. It's just on the other side of this wall, ya' know! I didn't like the candy there, though."  
  
"Well, can't you use your pea-brain for ONE moment?! We are in a VIDEO GAME STORE!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"SO! We STAR in one! If any customers see us, we wouldn't get any privacy and be delayed in our search and rescue! Not to mention the press will surely think we're putting our noses into how to get the Best Sidekick/Guide For Adventurous Heroes Award! You gotta' get into some kind of costume before anyone sees you!"  
  
Globox paused for a minute. Then he smiled, zipped toward the back of the shop, and zipped back. His head was covered in a Darth Maul mask, but the shape of his head made him look more like a clown with spikes on his face.  
  
"Okaaaaaaaaaaay... that'll do, I guess."  
  
"Why did you want to go here, by the way?"  
  
Murfy glanced left, then right, then whispered, "I see the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, my friend. Not only will I cover more ground in finding Rayman, but I can also buy and evaluate the nominees for the same award I'm tryin' to get, by PLAYING their games! I'd know just what I'm up against!"  
  
"You mean you haven't played any of their games yet?!"  
  
"No, I'm afraid not. I've been too busy with my own schedules and guiding Rayman in the past year. But now I can keep up, so you might as well help me get these!" Murfy picked up the three games that contained the three nominees for the Best Sidekick/Guide for Adventurous Heroes Award, stacked up on one another. Globox carried two of them to lighten the load.  
  
They approached the register at the front of the store, and waited in line. By the time it was their turn, Globox placed the games on the desk. But just when Murfy felt like everything was finally going his way, he heard a low voice from the desk. "Sorry, Dudes, but you can't buy these if you don't have any money."  
  
Globox was surprised. "Money? Oh! Uh... just a minute..." He kneed down to Murfy, and said, "I thought you said this place didn't have any trade system!"  
  
"That's what I thought! Just—just ask him what they trade!"  
  
Globox nervously whipped to a straight pose facing the register. "Um... we're new to his planet. Uh... is there someplace that lists what you accept?"  
  
"Sure, Dude. Here's a list." He took out a blue binder and placed it in front of Globox, who opened it. Inside were about 10,000 different forms of currency that this planet accepted, and after search as quickly as possible, to his delight, he noticed that Lums were among the list!  
  
"Lums?" asked Murfy after he found out. "Do we have any?"  
  
Globox smiled deviously, and reached inside his mouth, revealing a pack of Lums! This may have disgusted a few people on line, seeing a guy in a Darth Maul mask regurgitate something and take it out, but Murfy tried to console them. "Don't be alarmed, people! He's used to doing this!"  
  
And so, they brought the games without any further inconvenience, and also learned at this planet does in fact have a certain kind of trade. But their bigger and more important task was yet to be worked upon- they saw no trace of Rayman anywhere.  
  
Except for about fifty different kinds of Rayman merchandise...  
  
-----   
  
It was hard to pant in and out, when there was nowhere in his body for the oxygen to go into. Rayman the Head was now dangling from a three- dimensional grid of other Raymanian heads! They were arranged like a deep layer of items waiting to be bought on the walls of stores!  
  
Thankfully, he was nowhere near purchase yet! This was another storage area, and it was cold, eerie and dark, the only light being a blue hazy one in the middle of the ceiling. The heads weren't covered in anything like plastic cases- they were just hanging there free. But it was still very quiet.  
  
What had happened after he last saw Boble?! Where did he go?! Surely this was Madame's doing, and he was determined, as he always was, to get out! He wiggled, swung, and shook in his hanging place until he bumped into another head to his left.  
  
To his surprise, it yawned! "Oh! Oh my! Are you not paralyzed?!"  
  
This shocked Rayman as well! He stared at this other head. It was a female Raymanian, also like his own in many ways. Only she had professionally done dirty blonde hair. And there was a pink flower (he couldn't place the name), placed in her right side.  
  
"Oh! Well, I am just as surprised as you are!" Immediately, seeing an escape opportunity, he continued speaking! "I'm Rayman! I need to get out of here?! Do you know a way out?!"  
  
"Sir, please refrain from yelling at a government official's head."  
  
"Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were such an esteemed leader."  
  
"Politician. Well, former politician. Before arriving at this planet, I was a serious professional in a high imperial position on Neotopia. You probably never heard of my home though- it's on the opposite end of the planet from the Fairy Glades. I was very good at it too. Yet, once my name became nationally famous, I couldn't get any higher than that. You know why?"  
  
"No... what IS you name, BTW?"  
  
"Pansy."  
  
"PANsy? Like the flower?!" Rayman unsuccessfully tried to hold in a chuckle. He could see why her career stopped short once they all knew the name of a serious politician.  
  
"I saw that!"  
  
"Sorry, it's just— I-- snicker"!"  
  
"S'alright. I've heard every joke in the book already."  
  
"Oh." Rayman clearing his throat and straightened his face. "Sorry again... about those other ridicules, I mean. I know how it f—"  
  
"Don't get sympathetic with me. I've heard all the apologies as well."  
  
"Jesus,... Pansy... (snicker)... what DO I have to do surprise you?"  
  
"Nothing can really surprise beings whose' body parts can be detached."  
  
"Good point." Even though only his head was there, he was still able to crane it sideways to a limit. If he craned it too far to the side, he would loose balance and topple over. But this time, he was hanging from his two hair puffs held by metal clips. It was hard to turn in this position, because the head would just dangle back facing front again like a swing. "Mmf! Mmf! I'm trying to see how we can get outta' this—"  
  
"It's hopeless. I've looked already. There is no way out except if we get carried somewhere else by something else. And I'm referring to our shipment out of here and into suffocating cardboard boxes or worse, plastic cases!"  
  
"I've been in worse situations before and I've gotten out Scott free!"  
  
"This is different. You obviously don't know much about the biology of our bodies, do you?"  
  
"WOAH, now! We just met, Lady!  
  
"Not funny. I'm talking about what happens to us if our hands, feet, and heads stay detached from the central energy source for too long!"  
  
Rayman was now interested. "Go on..."  
  
"We rot."  
  
"EXCUSE me, Miss?"  
  
"Our hands, feet, and heads rot! Think of it as a laptop disconnected from the outlets. It can operate freely for up to about two hours or less, right? Then it uses up all the energy, and shuts down until it's reattached to another outlet, right? Without our tummies, our other parts won't just shut down, but wrinkle inward, become gray, and eventually, become prune-like forms, dropping to the floor."  
  
Rayman couldn't believe his ears. "How long is OUR time limit?!"  
  
"About five days."  
  
Rayman fell silent again. For the first time in a long while, he felt his defenses begin to crumble down, starting with the surface layers. He also felt this... (snicker)... Pansy.. could help him escape all the more. "Well, I mean... I told you... I could still—"  
  
"Don't go into your little heroic stories. I've obviously heard of you, Rayman."  
  
"What is it with the people I meet on this trip?! They have no sense of humor at all!"  
  
They both clearly wanted the conversation to end now, so they both tried to turn away from each other as much as possible in a "Hmf!". Rayman, dropping his one and possibly last conversation with another Raymanian, could do nothing now except let his eyes wander amongst the millions of other Raymanian heads, all in the same hanging position as he, arranged in columns and rows in three directions! The only thing that made him and... (snicker)... "PANsy"... different from the rest is that they were both conscious.  
  
He had never seen so many of his own kind's heads in one dark room! He wanted so much to call for help, but each time he built the guts, he repressed them, knowing that no one would respond. He looked around and, getting bored and more fraught, found himself playing games with the heads surrounding him, such as, counting how many heads he could spot with read hats on. Then blue hats. Then green bandanas. Glasses. Facial hair. Blond hair. Black hair. Round noses. Long noses. Lop-sided noses. Shaved heads. Piercing. He could've sworn he caught sight of an old friend a few times. He never realized how big Neotopia was!  
  
Look at these guys! So innocent and bright and colorful! We shouldn't have to go through this torment! What was Madame running here, anyway?! Who would want to buy second-hand, paralyzed body parts?! For what purpose?! Either the universe was bigger than he could comprehend, or Madame should be gotten rid of! Or there are lots of stupid consumers out there! He was almost willing to pick the latter.  
  
"I can hear you muttering to yourself, Rayman. Naughty habit." She seemed to have gotten soft as their silence progressed.  
  
"I never knew we would die out like this."  
  
"It's the way our ecosystem works. And placing us in a foreign environment only increases the speed of our deterioration."  
  
Rayman could never be sadder than what he was previously, so, he naturally turned to humor! "When did the politician suddenly become a biologist?!"  
  
Pansy did smile a little, but made no sound. Rayman was satisfied.  
  
"Hey, listen. Before I reached this rack of heads, I met another alien who's also stuck here, but Madame put him in special supervision until his time comes... Maybe we can heighten the chances of HIM seeing US instead of the other way around! Yes, Ma'am, I am not giving up! Somehow, we gotta' get back to the main area!"  
  
"WHICH 'Main Area'?! Rayman, this planet is bigger than a hundred Neotopia's combined! There are hundreds of Main Areas and they all look alike except for the way they are labeled! And... to tell you the truth... I've done my share of the searching as well..."  
  
Rayman brightened again. "You HAVE?! How?!" Rayman suddenly realized HER head was conscious as well!  
  
"Madame's machines may be the best in the universe, but they aren't perfect! Every once in a blue moon, something goes wrong. In my case, I was shipped into Madame's office by her henchmen about three days ago. But unbeknownst to them, their Paralyzers weren't working well, and, thinking quickly, I faked my own coma! Only my head and left foot are still awake. You see where I'm going with this?"  
  
Rayman could now fill in the blanks! He had her head right here, but her FOOT...  
  
He was so happy he rattled and swung himself to and fro from the metal clips by his hair! "Oh, Pansy, if I had my hands here and you had your midsection, I would give you a big—"  
  
"Please refrain from abusing the government official's head, Sir."  
  
-----   
  
"Say look, Murfy! There's another crowd over there! And it looks like this time it's NOT a CEL PHONE!"  
  
Globox pointed to the crowd they both passed on the opposite end of the large string of stores. They had been to many stores, and were now covered in so many shopping bags and accessories that Murfy could barely keep floating. And it appeared that Globox needed to practice narrowing his tastes- he went to stores that his type wouldn't be known to go, such as SPACY'S and NOISE "R" WE.  
  
Murfy managed to crank his head and say, "Eh, we might as well go there too. Like the Fairy said, we can't leave any place unexplored in case another cool item—I mean, Rayman—is on sale!"  
  
They both headed toward the crowd, and what they had discovered was a big performance of some sort. Or show? People in the front were dressed in very expensive clothing. There was a flashy alien at the podium up on a big stage with a mike.  
  
"Murfy, why do all the people in the front have big signs with numbers on them?"  
  
"Eh, they're probably rating the items. This looks like a place where they determine what items sell better than the rest!"  
  
"And that guy at the podium is talkin' REAL loud!"  
  
"Yeah, his unnaturally fast voice must show that he's really excited by this next little number!"  
  
And what a piece it was. Starting at 200 lbs, or 16 lums, was... a purple little ball with a white circle in the front!  
  
Rayman's source of energy! Rayman's paralyzed stomach! Was up for auction!  
  
(to be continued...) 


End file.
